How to move forward when things feel stuck

The last few months have been hard with a capital H! Have you felt it too?

Difficult emotions have made themselves at home in my life in and in the lives of many of my clients recently….apathy, fear, anxiety, disappointment, uncertainty, fatigue, disillusionment, flatness, frustration, lack of motivation, procrastination, guilt and the lack of ability to get excited about pretty much anything!

Can you put your hand up for a few of those too?

It seems to me we are all experiencing a hang over from living in a post pandemic world. For many it looks and feels a lot like grief. Some have experienced a direct loss of a loved one and haven’t been able to say goodbye in the way we normally would. Some have lost treasured pets and good friends too or relationships or jobs or their sense of optimism about life.

The truth is we have all experienced the loss of how our lives used to be. We have lost our sense of lightness, freedom and certainty about our world. Our lifestyles have changed, our desires have changed, businesses have changed, our routines have changed and all of that is very present and very real at the moment.

And it’s a lot

It’s a lot because humans thrive with a level of certainty and we find change difficult. We like our comfort zones and when change is forced upon us it feels unnerving and uncomfortable.

What I know about change and loss is that as bad as it seems at the moment it is also an opportunity. An opportunity to grow, to make new choices and to learn new things about ourselves and our world.

So how do we move towards the growth and opportunity and away from the discomfort and anxiety?

How do we get PAST this?

I am asked this exact question often. How do I get past feeling this way or how do I get past this thing that has happened to me.

The thing is, it’s not about getting PAST the things that aren’t working, that feel uncomfortable or that have gone wrong.

Its about moving forward with them.

Moving forward with our loss. Moving forward with our uncertainty. Moving forward with our fears about the future.

Moving forward with whatever we are experiencing is important because waiting to get PAST it just keeps us stuck where we are for longer.

You need to give yourself a hand to a better feeling by choosing to move forward despite feeling less than your best rather than staying stuck.

This doesn’t mean ignoring the reality of where you are or denying how you really feel because that’s actually important too but it does mean actively reaching for what will feel better.

We actually need to reach for something better in order to feel better. We need to start taking small actions in order to start feeling motivated. We need to try things out in order to rebuild our confidence and self-belief.

How does this look in action?

Have a think about the things you USED to enjoy. The things in the past that have made you feel good or happy or confident and write them down.

Once you have 2 or 3 things on that list start doing them every day.

It might be listening to a song you love or watching a comedy show that makes you laugh. It might be having a coffee with a friend or reading a good book. It could be trying a new recipe or gardening or going to the movies or to the beach.

Whatever you used to enjoy will help you to feel better when things are tough. You already know this, I am sure. I bet you can already think of a song that when it comes on you just have to turn it up loud or sing or move your body.

You want to use the things that make you feel good as leverage when you want to feel better. When you want to get unstuck or move forward.

Exercise is also really, really helpful. Even a small amount of exercise has been shown to improve positive feelings in study after study. It doesn’t matter what exercise you do just make a decision to move your body daily.

Talk to someone you trust or get support form a counsellor or coach.  Everyone has struggles. We all have times when things get tough. Reaching out for support will help you to realise that you are not alone.

Having someone listen helps. Having someone support you to move forward helps. Having someone who will check in that you are doing the things that will make you feel better helps. Having someone from the outside looking in gives you a different perspective one that you can’t get to on your own.

No matter how you are feeling right now I want you to know that support is always available if you reach out for it.

Remember “Change doesn’t happen when circumstances improve, a change happens when YOU decide to improve your circumstances” (anon)

You can start that change today by turning towards yourself and choosing one small action that will make you feel better.

One of the things I used to really enjoy was writng this blog so here I am putting words to paper again after a 2 and a half year hiatus! I’d love to know what helps you to feel better, feel free to share your ideas and thoughts in the comments

Every experience is valid….Lockdown life

Every experience is valid…..

Life is not going according to plan right now….for anyone. That’s just the way that it is and we have very little choice but to surrender to new restrictions, new ways of working, new ways of being.

I am seeing and reading and hearing a lot about how we “should” be using this time and what we “should and shouldn’t” be doing. Some of this information is important because it will keep you alive and safe. However some of it is just people’s opinions.

Some are sharing worst case scenarios, some are focusing only on the positive. This is one of those times where perspective is everything and the only thing you truly have a choice about is your own experience.

Every experience is valid. What you are going through right now might be wildly different or almost the same as what is happening for me. Either way it is your experience and you are doing it exactly right for you.

Please don’t let yourself feel inadequate in anyway for the things you haven’t ticked off your “to do” list and by the same token let yourself enjoy the satisfaction that comes from actually completing something during such and emotionally and physically challenging time.

Its okay to feel afraid about the future and its okay to be enjoying the quiet that comes from narrowing your focus and staying at home.

There is no recipe for lockdown done “right” except that you need to stay home to keep everyone safe!

For me this time feels strangely familiar in some ways. Its not the first time that life as I know it has come to a grinding halt overnight. There has been earthquakes and the loss of my beloved spouse.

I take comfort in the resilience these previous changes have given me to draw from at the moment and I’d like to share some of the things that are supporting me to feel safe and calm and happy during this lockdown.

I am sharing them not because I think you “should” do them to but just in case you might find them comforting for you too.

You are still here…… life may look radically different right now and it might be impossible to imagine how it can ever feel okay again but you are still here. Remind yourself of that. Breathe, ask yourself what you need, ask yourself what you have energy for and do that.

For me this can look different from one day to the next. Some days its all action and online workouts. Other days its quiet walks with my dog and early nights with a book. I have learnt that there is real value in pausing to check in with myself. To feel my own presence and to inquire what it is I need. This is self nurture and living intuitively. It leaves me feeling less alone, healthier and stronger. I know and trust that someone will respond to my needs and that someone is me.

You are still here, what do you need? what do you have energy for?  Give yourself that.

Completion is important…. at a time when we feel we have very little control over what happens around us finding a project you can see through to completion will give you a sense of achievement and purpose. It doesn’t matter how big or small the project is. It might be trimming the hedge or cleaning out the garage or a project you can work on in your work from home life. Controlling what you can control and completing even the smallest project will help you find balance and give some meaning to your experience.

Find certainty in routine….. As humans we don’t do well with uncertainty. When life is unpredictable we can find it hard to rein in the panic and projection in our mind. It helps to create some certainty for you brain to hold on to. Certainty in uncertain times looks like small daily routines that provide a solid framework from day to day. It might be regular mealtimes, waking up and going to bed times. It might be a regular phone call with a friend at the same day/time each week. It might be advance meal planning so you have certainty about what you will eat. It could be daily meditation or writing time. Routine and structure supports us to feel secure and safe.

Reflection time….. I have learnt that these life disruptions provide a perfect platform for a little reflection. An opportunity to check in with yourself and your significant others about what is working for you in your daily life and what is no longer what you want. I like to look at the various aspects of life, work, friendships, relationships, finances, health and fitness etc and explore what feels lacking, check in with my heart in terms of what I desire more of or less of. The changes don’t need to be made in an instant. Just knowing that you want change and what you desire more of, will lead you to say yes to opportunities as they arise. I have used this process at times when all my plans and dreams have been torn away and it works equally well for helping guide new plans and dreaming new dreams.

Above all, be gentle with yourself, trust yourself, resist the urge to compare yourself with your social media connections, reach out for support if you need it and know that I am thinking of you and sending you a little lockdown love  from a safe distance.<3

Did you know I am currently offering free support in my facebook community? click here to join. I also offer a few free 30min Intuitive insight sessions each month where we can talk about whats happening for you and unravel your experiences together. You can book your free spot here

 

6 Years….

I have thought long and hard today about whether to share this letter from my journal I wrote this morning. Its a very personal outpouring of my feelings on the 6th Anniversary of my husband Ande’s passing. I am sharing this in the hope that its exactly what someone else needs to read…..Take a moment today to forget how annoying your partner is and just appreciate them for who they are and who they are not….do that for me xx

Dear Ande,

When I saw how beautiful it was this morning as I walked on to the beach with my coffee I cried. I cried becuase we never took enough time to share this kind of normal every day beauty together.

My life is not empty without you. My life was emptier without me. I have consciously worked on it these last 6 years, on building my relationship with myself, because ultimately even though you are missing in my life and I miss you, you werent my missing peice. I was.

Even if you were still here, this inner journey would have had to take place, for me to survive, for us to survive.

So much of who I am is a work in progress. Parts of me always will be.

I imagine I will always have this desire to stretch and to grow past the edges of myself and in lots of ways this is your legacy. Who I am is your legacy.

6 years ago I decided that. To make my life a tribute to you. To all they days you didnt get and to all the times you didnt share yourself, let yourself be seen, or recieve the love and respect others had for you.

You were special, your life was special, my life with you was special. I hope that you know that now. I hope that you know just how much you were loved.

I dont always get it right this legacy building. I have days when I choose to stay stuck rather than take the next step or to feel my feelings, or to stretch into my growth.

I dont always do the things I know I need to do. I am learning to show myself compassion in those times, to know that there is for me a tomorrow to try again.

I am learning to let my grief rise and fall like the tide as it needs too, my grief for you and for myself. They hold hands as they walk along the beach together.

I will never not miss you in my life. I am grateful for the way you still show up, in a dream, in a feeling or in something someone said.

I now know that missing you doesnt mean I cant have love and joy and happiness. Sometimes those things come because of missing you. The human heart, my heart, has the capacity to hold love and sadness in equal measure.

Our capacity to fill our lives with joy is only limited by the capacity with which we are prepared to be who we are. Thank you for showing me that.

In your absence you have taught me many things. The belief that you had in me has become the belief I have in myself. The love, trust and understanding you showed me have become the love, trust and understanding I show myself.

Losing you has opened within me a capacity to open to myself and to help others to open to themselves too.

Your life has blessed mine in ways neither of us could ever have imagined. Every person I help, every time I have the honor of leading someone home to the truth of who they are, you have that honor too. In honoring my clients I am honoring you.

Today I sit with sadness and beauty and loss and love and gratitude and pain and delight living in my heart in equal measure.

Thank you for walking by my side. Thank you for reminding me every day to be a little more me. We were each others rocks and you are my rock still.

Today is for you and today is beautiful

Love always

Paula xx

 

The Power of Letting go…..

For those of you who follow the “astrological” weather you will know that we have had quite a significant eclipse over the weekend. For me and many of you, this eclipse and the weeks leading up it has been all about letting go.

Letting go of patterns of behaviour that don’t serve you

Letting go of out dated ideas and ways of being

Letting go of self judgement

Letting go of controlling people and situations

Letting go of needing to know how it will all turn out.

Letting go of people, places and things that are no longer right for you

Letting go of defining yourself by your past

I’m sure if you are reading this then you will relate to at least one if not all of the above.

True change comes when we are really able to let go of what no longer serves us. To do this we must not only know and understand what it is that is holding us back but also what it is costing us to continue to think and act from this place.

We also have to get really comfortable with what life feels like without our old way of being, thinking and doing. Our limiting ideas, behaviours and beliefs can feel a lot like a small childs “blankie” there is comfort in the familiarity of what we know, even if we also know it’s not right for us.

Letting go can feel initially exposing. Like you are standing naked in front of a room full of people.  There is an opening between what we have let go and the new way of being that will replace it. This can feel scary but it is also your golden opportunity to embrace what it is you really want.

For me the letting go has been about releasing all of the ways Ihold myself back from life, love and creating what I want in my business.  In the opening between the letting go and what is next I have felt my heart expand with self compassion, self-love and self-care. I no longer feel the need to judge my results against those of other people or other people’s expectations.

The letting go has gifted me a new level of clarity that I hadn’t expected. I feel clearer about they ways in which I have limited myself. I feel less tangled in the web of my life and much more like I am guiding the ship.

I can see from this vantage point that my life to this point has been very much about love. Being loved, giving love, loving myself, supporting others to feel loved and to offer themselves love and compassion for their experience.

When I work with my clients I am guiding them back to their own hearts, supporting them to uncover what it is they hold deep inside. Allowing healing and lovingly witnessing that which needs to be healed.

I have heard said more than once that grief is the price of love and in my own life I know this to be true. However what this idea doesn’t offer is that grief is also the gift that opens you up to more love. Whenever we lose that which is important to us we have the opportunity to expand. To know that our heart has the capacity to not only heal but to also grow from the experience of loss. The truth is that loss never really leaves us, it remains in our hearts as a reminder of what we have healed and how much we have expanded our capacity to love.

In letting go we can experience this too. We can experience more love, more life and a greater sense of purpose.

Ultimately what I am trying to say here is don’t hold on too tightly to that which you need to let go. Dont let loss, fear or self judgement be the defining experiences in your life. Allow yourself to expand beyond that which has hurt you whether it is a physical experience or a self-limiting belief.

I promise that on the other side of letting go is more freedom and more love than you ever believed you can experience.

Let the power of letting go work its magic in your life.

Paula xx

Are you struggling to let go of what you know is holding you back? I offer a few free 30min Intuitive insight sessions each month where we can talk about whats happening for you and unravel your experiences together. You can book your free spot here

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When your soul is calling you…

It has struck me recently how ill-equipped we are as humans to resolve the struggle between our human nature and our soul nature. We live in a human world yet within us all resides a higher guiding power that is our soul.

For some of us it’s entirely satisfactory to live a human life without ever exploring the deeper soul self but for me and the majority of my coaching clients the call of the soul becomes, at some point, impossible to ignore.

To know your self at a soul level is truly a gift and its through the expression of who we are at this deepest of levels that creates a life lived deeply.  The path of soul exploration is not easy and I know many great minds have written, probably in a much greater detail and understanding of this part of our nature, than I will. However lately I have witnessed so many of my clients struggling with how to honor the soul after many years of an entirely human existence, I feel it important to share what I know of this journey. When the soul comes calling, the struggle between the ego, personality and the souls desires fall into conflict. The internal turmoil that ensues can feel relentless, emotional and inexplicably difficult.

My experience of my souls desire to express fully in my life spans more than 20 years and began as a fascination with all things “woo woo”. The logical, analytical, judgmental perfectionist that was my ego self fought hard to contain this curiosity within me. I felt ashamed of who I was and held for a time a huge fear that I was going to have to become a crystal ball reading gypsy to really fulfil my potential. In truth what has  unfolded is a desire to be everything that I am and to live my life at the deepest of levels. I crave connection to this “soul self” and meet her in my writing, my meditation and in the joyful and loving moments in my life.

My work has only been enhanced by the recognition of my Souls desire to express itself. Trusting this core part of who I am, is what allows me to be present for my clients, to hold space for them and to be a clear channel for what is needed to intuitively guide them back to themselves.

I feel blessed to work in this way, to feel my soul’s gentle presence in my life and to support and guide others who find themselves on this pathway.

This way of being, this type of growth is not taught in schools or tertiary institutions. Its life that guides us to this place within. I don’t know why the soul’s call, for some of us, is so strong, yet for others it doesn’t exist, but what I do know is that recognising what is happening can help to reduce the stress and impact on your life

So how do you recognise When your soul is calling you?

• People, places, relationships and friendships that you once loved and relied on suddenly don’t feel right any more. You feel like a fish out of water. Sometimes it is described as a sense that you are watching your life occur around you but you dont feel connected to it. You might begin to choose to be alone rather than hanging out with your friends. Your social interests suddenly seem less interesting.
• You feel the urge to change jobs or to move house. There is a desire to “find your Purpose” and to feel “at home” This creates within us a need to change where we are currently to something that feels more aligned even if we don’t know what that is.
• You have a hard time controlling your emotions. You cry at inopportune moments, you feel overwhelmed with sadness and grief or get angry when you would normally remain calm, you experience rage at situations that normally wouldn’t bother you. Your nearest and dearest tell you tht you are “too sensitve”
• You might begin to indulge in everything you know is not good for you. You numb the uncomfortable feelings inside with food or alcohol or drugs or sex. Or conversely you go hard out with healthy living, exploring radical changes in diet and exercise.
• You feel like a failure and struggle to get anything off the ground in your business.
• Your financial situation changes radically
• You feel ike you have no control over what is changing in your life. You feel bewildered

The good news is, there is so much you can do to support yourself through this soul journey and you are not alone. My best advice is to get support from someone who understands, who has walked that path that you are on and who can help to guide you in the right direction.

It might also help to…

• explore the new age section in your local library. Choose any books that capture your attention and read.
• Buy a journal and start recording your experiences. This will go a long way towards helping you make sense of what is occurring. It may also be where you hear your souls voice the loudest. You can even invite your soul into a conversation with you by asking questions and writing what comes as an answer without censoring it.
• Give yourself the gift of time….time away from the world to just be… time to decide what is right for you before you change jobs, cities and relationships.
• Talk about your experiences and be open to those around you who will ‘get you’ the miracle of this experience is that you will find kindred spirits in the most unlikely of places
• Practice being in your heart. consciously moving your awareness from your head to your heart. Allowing yourself to feel all that you are holding there. Let your heart lead you…check in with what your heart desires….
• explore spiritual practices, forums and groups that appeal to you. meditation, yoga, crystals, different types of healing. Each one of us is different and finding out what makes your soul sing can be just the adventure that you need.

If you had told me 20 years ago that I would be writing this for you and working in the way that I do, I would not have believed you. I would have run as fast as I could in the opposite direction. But today I feel blessed to have heard the call of my soul and to have answered. I feel grateful for all the experiences I have had finding my way back to myself and I feel honored to be able to work in the way that I do and to share my souls voice with the world.

AND I know that sometime in the future you will too

Paula xx

Do you have questions? Would you like a little more support to connect with your soul self? Did you know that I offer a few free 30min Intuitive insight sessions each month where we can talk about whats happening for you and unravel your experiences together. You can book your free spot here

 

 

Beware the Ides of March…

Breakfast Blog#2 I wrote this blog post over a Small fry breakfast at The Batch Cafe in Invercargill. 

Many A dream is won or lost by what occurs in the month of March!

March is the month to dig deep on your plans and dreams for 2018. The last couple of weeks has signalled the end of the golden weather here in New Zealand and no doubt the first bus of spring are appearing in the Northern hemisphere.  Spring and Autumn provide us with the perfect seasons for getting things done.

I am currently working on a project that I want to bring to life in my biz this year and this week I have been reminded of how hard it is at the beginning of a project to create the momentum it will take to see it ignite into a life of its own. The same applies to any dream or goal we have for ourselves in our personal lives. We are captivated by the idea initially, we feel it in our hearts and minds. We can almost touch and taste it, it feels very present with us. However when it comes to taking the necessary steps to make it a reality it can be soooo much harder to keep the wheels spinning and the excitement flowing. SOmetimes that’s when the wheels fall off and what we planned in January already feels like a distant memory come MArch.

It’s not too late though….together we can dust off those January dreams and start taking the steps to make sure you can harvest come the end of the year!

What first?

(1) Make a plan ~ write down all of the steps you need to take to make this thing happen. This is where I am at with my current project. Initially you will find it hard to think of things and to break it into small enough steps but just start writing….what do you need? $$, support, info….add to it daily as new pieces of the puzzle come to you.

(2) Make a date ~ book the steps in to your diary, carving out pockets of time when you can commit to working on them. Try to schedule these spots regularly through out your week initially as coming back to your project frequently will help feed its energy and create the momentum required to keep working on it

(3) What to do when you get stuck or go off the boil ~ firstly plan for this because it will happen! Share your idea/plan with a trusted friend…just talking it through will help you fall in love with it all over again. Create yourself a vision board and/ or do your own intuitive oracle card reading or journalling on your project now so you have these to reflect back on when the going gets tough. Coming back to the journalling I had done on my biz idea was my safety net this week when I was feeling frustrated and ready to give up.

(4) Ask for help ~ maybe you are stuck because part of the project is just outside your current skill set or experience. Who can you ask for help here? V.A? Coach?, Mentor?, Lawyer? Accountant? IT wiz? Get the support you need to make your dream take flight.

For me goals, dreams and visions for the future are what makes life less ordinary but it is actually taking the steps to make our dreams a reality that is Deep Living!

You have the capacity to do, be and have far more that you could ever imagine! Soooo dust off those New Year plans and let March be the month you take action.

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams, live the life you’ve imagined” Henry David Thoreau

From my heart to yours

Paula xx

If you live in Christchurch keep and eye out for my upcoming Vision board workshop. To get workshop dates via email sign up here Did you know that I offer a few free 30min sessions each month where we can talk about your dreams and goals and make a plan to bring them to life. You can book your free spot here 

Letting your Heart Lead…

Breakfast Blog#1 Today I begin a new series of blog posts, “Breakfast Blogs” One of my intentions for 2018 is to “live like I am on holiday all year” in exploring what that means to for me, visiting new cafes, starting my day slow and creating the space to write, come at the top of the list. Hence the breakfast blog is born. Each week (or as often as life allows) I will visit a new cafe, enjoy a late start and share with you whats on my mind and in my heart. Today’s breakfast blog was created at Bunsen in Christchurch and I had the very delicious Bunsen Bene on hash!

Over the first few weeks of 2018 the topic of goals has been high on the agenda both personally and with my clients. Its this time each year that we take stock, review and look forward to what to achieve and create in our lives. So what makes a really solid goal?

If you google goals you will find that at the top of the list comes the SMART goal and most of you will have heard of the concept of making your goals SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time bound) My personal feeling is that while this is a useful tool for formulating how you will word your goals for the purpose of writing them down, it doesn’t really lead you to create goals that excite you. To me, if we really want to set a goal that comes to fruition we need to feel it in our soul #soulgoals

Over the last couple of years I have observed in myself and in my clients a natural resistance to this idea. This is because we are conditioned to believe our goals “should” be lofty in the career, business, financial or academic sense. But unless we are really connected to what we want to create in these areas it can be really hard to harness the momentum required to get there, especially if we are not feeling it.

Even career, financial, business or academic goals need to be felt in the soul. In short whatever your goal it needs to make your heart sing.

So what if the thing you desire the most is to find a loving partner to share your life with? or to experience a deeper connection with the mate you already have? or to get to know the truth of who you are? or to create a beautiful living environment or to learn how to grow your own food? Are these goals any less important than that traditional career and financial goals? I would encourage you to consider the idea that the most important goal is the one you can feel in your heart regardless of what part of your life it relates to.

When we work towards our deepest desires we feel good, we feel connected and on purpose, motivated and part of the very fabric of life. We feel alive!

For some of you the choice to honour your deepest desires will feel so foreign it will be hard to find a place to start. That was certainly the case for me a few years ago. It takes courage to explore your inner terrain, it feels vulnerable. Especially if whats inside varies wildly from what those you love, want or expect from you.

My advice, start small, give yourself a little taste of what it feels like to honour your soul and keep asking the question “what is it that I really want right now” in every aspect of your life. Give yourself permission to discover what sets your soul on fire. Get curious about what might be revealed to you.

The real benefits of letting your heart lead is that you will experience more joy, more love and more connection in every aspect of your life. When you are soul filled and soul happy your ability to show up, perform and achieve, skyrockets.

When you give yourself what you really want, you lay a solid foundation for amplifying success in every part of your life including your career, business, and finances! Ironically by focusing on goals that fill your soul you will experience a greater level of success in the areas you think you “should” be striving for.

So in 2018, plan to do, be and have more of what makes your heart sing and let your heart lead for a while….You might just be surprised where it takes you.

From my heart to yours

Paula xx

Allowing 2018

Welcome to your New year!

Its been 12 months since we found ourselves at the beginning again but here we are….

I am conscious of how different this January feels for me to all of the January’s gone by. I have welcomed January with fervour in the past. I have loved that “day before the first day if school” feeling that new years have….that excitement of new possibilities just around the corner. I often rush at January with a big agenda of dreams and schemes to be birthed in the months ahead. But this year feels different….can you feel it too?

Don’t get me wrong January 2018 is very welcome after the mental and emotional demands of an enormous 2017. I have just as many possibilities for creation bubbling under the surface but this January feels gentler and softer in its unfolding.

January 2018 has me very much in a space of allowing. Allowing what is, rather than battling what isn’t. The era of hustle is gone. January 2018 is all heart after the heady mental energy of 2017.

So with a sigh of relief I relax into this gentle January and allow myself to dream and to breathe and  to let what wants to come forward arrive.

And when those echoes of 2017 come calling, asking me, pressuring me and should-ing me, I take a deep soul filling breath, pour a cup of tea and go out into my garden to watch mother nature allow herself to unfold.

Wishing you all a divinely gentle January

Paula xx

Did you know that I offer a few free 30min Intuitive insight sessions each month where we can talk about whats happening for you and unravel your experiences together. You can book your free spot here

 

Hello, this is your growth calling…..

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves” Viktor Frankl

There is a part of me who has for 48 years (my whole life) been searching. I have lived with curiosity and a desire to know more. Maybe you have too….

I seek a deep experience of life, of love, of my own human-ness and I enjoy exploring my own nature. I look at the way I respond to the world and the results I get, to try to understand my relationships, my feelings and what they mean for me and those I interact with.

I have named this my “call to growth”

I am called to grow in every way possible and as much as I have the capacity to do so I answer that call. Those who know me often say that I am strong but I know that in actual fact I am no stronger than anyone else. The difference is this deep desire to understand, make peace with and to grow through life’s experiences. The good, the bad and the heart breakingly difficult. I am a deep thinker, a deep feeler and in more recent times have come to know myself as intuitive and empathic.

I know that I am not alone in this. I know that many of you share my need to know more and that some of you out there reading this will be seeing your self in my words. You are recognising the part of you who seeks more of yourself, the part that desires a deep connection in your most important relationships, in your work and with life itself.

I suspect that your journey and process is somewhat similar to my own

• You have likely been through events and relationships that cause you to feel that in some way you were inherently lacking, unworthy and not good enough to do, be and have the things that you desire.
• You sometimes still feel that lack of worth and it’s quite likely that it is holding you back from doing the things you want to do.
• You give more than you receive. The way this occurs may look different on the outside but in the end it’s all the same. Some of us give outwardly, always doing things for others first, some of us give ourselves to our jobs, overworking and burning out. Others over give in relationships, putting our own needs aside for our partners. We can often do that to such an extent that we lose our sense of identity to the relationship.
• You may also have an interest in all things spiritual and you seek new ways of understanding yourself and the world. You feel energy in places and in people and in experiences.
• You probably cry at movies or find it hard to watch the news
• You also have times where all you can do is sit on the couch no matter how hard you will yourself to do all those things you “should” be doing
• You love people and places and variety just as much as you love silence and alone time and routine.

I am writing this blog today because I want to celebrate the beauty and diversity of all of you. All of the seekers out there who are just like me, or just a little like me but are looking, questioning, feeling and embracing what life puts in front of them.

I want you to know that I walk alongside you and I see your struggles, I see your beauty and your deep feeling heart. I know what it is to be in a crowded room but to feel utterly alone. You are not foreign to me or alien or strange. You fit right in and I celebrate each and every moment you are embracing the call to grow. I am cheering you on from the sidelines and knowing that even in your darkest places the light eventually shines.

What I have learnt from my own callings is

• That the world is full of people just like you and me. Allow yourself to open up to that and you will find yourself drawing them to you
• Your personal care is a priority. Recognise when you need to stop working, giving, engaging and let yourself fill up on alone time to process your experiences and reflect on your growth
• There are things you can do that support your call, like meditation, writing, walking, creating, and being in nature. Find the things that work for you and make them a regular part of your routine.
• You are worthy beyond measure, more valuable than you can comprehend and there is magic in your existence. Never forget that, no matter how hard it is.
• You are always doing way better than you think you are!

My curiosity, desire for growth has already lead me to many great self discoveries, along with some magical experiences and some very special relationships and I know there will be more to come. I also know there will be more dark days and more internal struggles. I surrender to that now, knowing deep within that there will once again be days when the sun shines and the water sparkles.

I feel blessed to be who I am and to have in my experience the desire to grow, to expand, to challenge my own thinking, to know more, to be more. To me this is the essence of what life is all about. This is my search for meaning.

Do you have questions? Would you like a little more support as you navigate your growth? Did you know that I offer a few free 30min Intuitive insight sessions each month where we can talk about whats happening for you and unravel your experiences together. You can book your free spot here

 

 

Feeling the call…….an invitation to action

I wrote today’s blog post on Sunday 23rd July, just over 30 days ago. Although at the time I wrote this post I did not publish it I did follow my own invitation to solitude. What has unfolded for me over the last 30 days has been an amazing illustration of the benefits of exactly what i wrote about in this post. I have greater clarity, I have followed my own guidance to refresh my branding and make small but important changes in my business. As a result I am happier, more engaged with my work and working and plying with a new sense of Joy and energy. I invite you to join me……………..

 

Lately I’ve been feeling the call. Soul Whispers, internal urges, that lingering sensation that it is time.

Being a widow with no children, I have a love /hate relationships with my alone-ness. As much as I crave company I also crave solitude. You would think that a person in my situation would have alone-time sorted but true solitude is not just about being the only person in the room.

It asks us to be present with whatever we are holding inside, good or bad.

For the past few weeks I have had house guests and i have allowed them to become my convenient excuse. My excuse to not meditate and to deny myself true moments of solitude.

I become aware again of my perfectionism….my need for the perfect set of circumstances to align before I set aside my Busy-ness (even when alone) and settle into some moments with myself.

What I find there in my solitude is a chance to fill up on myself, to feel the presence of my soul self and to reconnect with all that is within and around me.

It is in this place that i can draw from when I am stuck or confused or in need of some clarity. It is in this place that my intuition, desires and heart reside.

I ask myself why I avoid deep drinks from the well of solitude and my answer is a rising tangle of fear and excitement. I am afraid of the power of what lies within me, of the depth of my own presence and what it asks me to bring forward.

This age old oscillation of fear/intuition/power/darkness/light and ego is present within all of us and can manifest visibly in procrastination, resistance and putting everyone else before we give to ourselves.

This reluctance to truly own the power of our presence, keep us small, dims our light, dampens our creativity and stands in the way of our success.

Today I take a stand and say “No More” no more dulling our magnificence!

Join me in a commitment to the self and all that reveals

Join me in a conscious movement closer to yourself, your heart, your power.

Join me in action by taking steps on what is revealed

join me in walking in the face of fear and discomfort.

Join me in finding more joy, more clarity and inspiration in solitude.

Join me in the magic of rediscovering yourself!

21 Days of Solitude

Join me each day for the next 21 days as I carve out moments of solitude and share the experience on Instagram using #21daysofsolitude