Category Archives: inspriation

Every experience is valid….Lockdown life

Every experience is valid…..

Life is not going according to plan right now….for anyone. That’s just the way that it is and we have very little choice but to surrender to new restrictions, new ways of working, new ways of being.

I am seeing and reading and hearing a lot about how we “should” be using this time and what we “should and shouldn’t” be doing. Some of this information is important because it will keep you alive and safe. However some of it is just people’s opinions.

Some are sharing worst case scenarios, some are focusing only on the positive. This is one of those times where perspective is everything and the only thing you truly have a choice about is your own experience.

Every experience is valid. What you are going through right now might be wildly different or almost the same as what is happening for me. Either way it is your experience and you are doing it exactly right for you.

Please don’t let yourself feel inadequate in anyway for the things you haven’t ticked off your “to do” list and by the same token let yourself enjoy the satisfaction that comes from actually completing something during such and emotionally and physically challenging time.

Its okay to feel afraid about the future and its okay to be enjoying the quiet that comes from narrowing your focus and staying at home.

There is no recipe for lockdown done “right” except that you need to stay home to keep everyone safe!

For me this time feels strangely familiar in some ways. Its not the first time that life as I know it has come to a grinding halt overnight. There has been earthquakes and the loss of my beloved spouse.

I take comfort in the resilience these previous changes have given me to draw from at the moment and I’d like to share some of the things that are supporting me to feel safe and calm and happy during this lockdown.

I am sharing them not because I think you “should” do them to but just in case you might find them comforting for you too.

You are still here…… life may look radically different right now and it might be impossible to imagine how it can ever feel okay again but you are still here. Remind yourself of that. Breathe, ask yourself what you need, ask yourself what you have energy for and do that.

For me this can look different from one day to the next. Some days its all action and online workouts. Other days its quiet walks with my dog and early nights with a book. I have learnt that there is real value in pausing to check in with myself. To feel my own presence and to inquire what it is I need. This is self nurture and living intuitively. It leaves me feeling less alone, healthier and stronger. I know and trust that someone will respond to my needs and that someone is me.

You are still here, what do you need? what do you have energy for?  Give yourself that.

Completion is important…. at a time when we feel we have very little control over what happens around us finding a project you can see through to completion will give you a sense of achievement and purpose. It doesn’t matter how big or small the project is. It might be trimming the hedge or cleaning out the garage or a project you can work on in your work from home life. Controlling what you can control and completing even the smallest project will help you find balance and give some meaning to your experience.

Find certainty in routine….. As humans we don’t do well with uncertainty. When life is unpredictable we can find it hard to rein in the panic and projection in our mind. It helps to create some certainty for you brain to hold on to. Certainty in uncertain times looks like small daily routines that provide a solid framework from day to day. It might be regular mealtimes, waking up and going to bed times. It might be a regular phone call with a friend at the same day/time each week. It might be advance meal planning so you have certainty about what you will eat. It could be daily meditation or writing time. Routine and structure supports us to feel secure and safe.

Reflection time….. I have learnt that these life disruptions provide a perfect platform for a little reflection. An opportunity to check in with yourself and your significant others about what is working for you in your daily life and what is no longer what you want. I like to look at the various aspects of life, work, friendships, relationships, finances, health and fitness etc and explore what feels lacking, check in with my heart in terms of what I desire more of or less of. The changes don’t need to be made in an instant. Just knowing that you want change and what you desire more of, will lead you to say yes to opportunities as they arise. I have used this process at times when all my plans and dreams have been torn away and it works equally well for helping guide new plans and dreaming new dreams.

Above all, be gentle with yourself, trust yourself, resist the urge to compare yourself with your social media connections, reach out for support if you need it and know that I am thinking of you and sending you a little lockdown love  from a safe distance.<3

Did you know I am currently offering free support in my facebook community? click here to join. I also offer a few free 30min Intuitive insight sessions each month where we can talk about whats happening for you and unravel your experiences together. You can book your free spot here

 

When will there be an end to suffering?

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Recently I had a knock at the door from a religious group. They wanted to leave some material and ask me one question. “When will there be an end to suffering?”

For me this question in itself aroused my curiosity. You see I don’t believe that I have any suffering that needs to end. Dont get me wrong my life to date hasn’t been a walk in the park. I have experienced loss just as many others have. Most significantly the devastating loss of my beloved husband 18 months ago.

While I’m not so naive that I don’t realise there are millions of people in the world who are affected by horrible circumstances, and have endured terrible tragedies, whose very existence hangs on a knife-edge.  I am not without compassion for them.  I do wonder though if they see their circumstances as suffering that will or will not end? Only they can answer that question. I suspect they often feel powerless to change the circumstances they are in. I imagine though that to continue to live through such devastation they must believe in something better, something greater or surely they would choose to end life right here and now.

For me life is not something to be endured no matter how difficult it becomes. Life is for living. I firmly believe myself to have been blessed to experience real love. Would I have known this love if I did not also know the depths of my own grief and sadness?

What this has really ignited in me is a need to examine more closely my experience and how I am living my life. Am I in boots and all or am I a simple spectator to what happens in front of me,

If I am not suffering or waiting for suffering to end then what am I doing? My own experience has shown me how very precious this one life is. How do I honor the memory of my loved ones whose lives have ended to soon,

I am challenged by the awareness that my life as it is can only be described as vanilla. Perfectly acceptable but very plain, I do not allow myself to fully explore my joy to be effervescent to be blow away by my experience. I hate to admit that I keep myself small and safe and that this is no longer enough for me.

So this blog is the beginning of choosing a new and different experience. To celebrate the beauty of my life completely, To find my Joybug!