The last few months have been hard with a capital H! Have you felt it too?
Difficult emotions have made themselves at home in my life in and in the lives of many of my clients recently….apathy, fear, anxiety, disappointment, uncertainty, fatigue, disillusionment, flatness, frustration, lack of motivation, procrastination, guilt and the lack of ability to get excited about pretty much anything!
Can you put your hand up for a few of those too?
It seems to me we are all experiencing a hang over from living in a post pandemic world. For many it looks and feels a lot like grief. Some have experienced a direct loss of a loved one and haven’t been able to say goodbye in the way we normally would. Some have lost treasured pets and good friends too or relationships or jobs or their sense of optimism about life.
The truth is we have all experienced the loss of how our lives used to be. We have lost our sense of lightness, freedom and certainty about our world. Our lifestyles have changed, our desires have changed, businesses have changed, our routines have changed and all of that is very present and very real at the moment.
And it’s a lot
It’s a lot because humans thrive with a level of certainty and we find change difficult. We like our comfort zones and when change is forced upon us it feels unnerving and uncomfortable.
What I know about change and loss is that as bad as it seems at the moment it is also an opportunity. An opportunity to grow, to make new choices and to learn new things about ourselves and our world.
So how do we move towards the growth and opportunity and away from the discomfort and anxiety?
How do we get PAST this?
I am asked this exact question often. How do I get past feeling this way or how do I get past this thing that has happened to me.
The thing is, it’s not about getting PAST the things that aren’t working, that feel uncomfortable or that have gone wrong.
Its about moving forward with them.
Moving forward with our loss. Moving forward with our uncertainty. Moving forward with our fears about the future.
Moving forward with whatever we are experiencing is important because waiting to get PAST it just keeps us stuck where we are for longer.
You need to give yourself a hand to a better feeling by choosing to move forward despite feeling less than your best rather than staying stuck.
This doesn’t mean ignoring the reality of where you are or denying how you really feel because that’s actually important too but it does mean actively reaching for what will feel better.
We actually need to reach for something better in order to feel better. We need to start taking small actions in order to start feeling motivated. We need to try things out in order to rebuild our confidence and self-belief.
How does this look in action?
Have a think about the things you USED to enjoy. The things in the past that have made you feel good or happy or confident and write them down.
Once you have 2 or 3 things on that list start doing them every day.
It might be listening to a song you love or watching a comedy show that makes you laugh. It might be having a coffee with a friend or reading a good book. It could be trying a new recipe or gardening or going to the movies or to the beach.
Whatever you used to enjoy will help you to feel better when things are tough. You already know this, I am sure. I bet you can already think of a song that when it comes on you just have to turn it up loud or sing or move your body.
You want to use the things that make you feel good as leverage when you want to feel better. When you want to get unstuck or move forward.
Exercise is also really, really helpful. Even a small amount of exercise has been shown to improve positive feelings in study after study. It doesn’t matter what exercise you do just make a decision to move your body daily.
Talk to someone you trust or get support form a counsellor or coach. Everyone has struggles. We all have times when things get tough. Reaching out for support will help you to realise that you are not alone.
Having someone listen helps. Having someone support you to move forward helps. Having someone who will check in that you are doing the things that will make you feel better helps. Having someone from the outside looking in gives you a different perspective one that you can’t get to on your own.
No matter how you are feeling right now I want you to know that support is always available if you reach out for it.
Remember “Change doesn’t happen when circumstances improve, a change happens when YOU decide to improve your circumstances” (anon)
You can start that change today by turning towards yourself and choosing one small action that will make you feel better.
One of the things I used to really enjoy was writng this blog so here I am putting words to paper again after a 2 and a half year hiatus! I’d love to know what helps you to feel better, feel free to share your ideas and thoughts in the comments
In Search of the Joybug 