July 21st 2014 “ I am challenged by the awareness that my life as it is can only be described as vanilla. Perfectly acceptable but very plain, I do not allow myself to fully explore my joy, to be effervescent, to be blown away by my experience. I hate to admit that I keep myself small and safe and that this is no longer enough for me”
Today I read my very first blog……I wrote if 5 years ago and I feel so much love for the me that wrote those words.
I feel honored that she had the foresight to encourage me to begin to explore the boundaries of my own life. I feel moved by the experiences that have been these last 5 years, motivated to a large extent by the part of me that felt life to be vanilla.
If my life 5 years ago was vanilla it would now have to be described as an ice cream parlour of flavours and experiences. I have traveled, I have learnt new things, I have developed new skills, I have opened to my intuitive self and developed my spiritual abilities, I have loved again, I have lost again, I have left a very good job and started a business that is my whole heart.
The me from 5 years ago still exists inside of me…she sometimes still feels small and chooses safety over adventure but she has opened herself to feel so much more than she could have ever imagined. Good things, joyful things and sadness and disappointment. The full spectrum of the emotions that life brings.
The real difference between the me then and the me now is my openness to feel. I want to and often do feel everything. 5 years ago I had shut off my ability to feel, too many painful things had happened. I didn’t want to feel the pain but in order to not feel that I also had to shut myself off to joy and to curiosity and to frustration and helplessness and satisfaction and success and gratitude. My feeling landscape is now far from vanilla, it is a vivid patchwork of colour.
One thing though stands out as a question I am still asking myself, 5 years down the track. I have asked myself this question sometimes daily and held myself to account with it. It has become my yardstick for my own growth. “Am I in boots and all or am I a simple spectator to what happens in front of me”
Lately this question has popped up around change.
Real lasting change isn’t easy, it takes focus and work and commitment. In working with my clients and with my own patterns and beliefs I have had to ask the question “How do we get change to stick?” Because to have what we want…to be available to all of the things that are available to us, we must be masters of change.
The me from 5 years ago was as vulnerable as a feather in the wind to change. Change happened to her, not for her or by her. Today I am an active participant in change in my life. I intend change, I work to change, I observe the parts of me that resist change and become curious to what it is those parts need.
I do this because its my thing. The thing I am most called to do. To support change and growth in myself and others. To bring myself in every moment closer to the truth of who I am and to work to change anything that is not me. That me of 5 years ago…she was very wise to encourage me to change and its in reading her words today that it becomes so clear to me that lasting change is more than possible.
I started this blog as an exploration of how to find joy in my life but it has been so much more than that. It has made me realise my deep desire to help others to change whats not working for them and that deep satisfaction comes for me, from seeing others grow.
If I could only share 1 message with the world it would be this….DO THE THING!
Do the thing you know you are here to do….Do the thing that scares you the most…..Do the thing you really want to do deep down.
Be relentless in your pursuit of DOING THE THING…. Be open to what is in the way, be prepared to break down walls and to move mountains to DO THE THING. Be prepared to fall on your face and get up again and keep working on DOING THE THING. DO THE THING even when others tell you your are crazy, and that it wont work. Keep DOING THE THING long after everyone thinks you should have given up. Get support, find the help you need, invest in yourself, but whatever you do never ever give up on DOING THE THING.
And if you don’t know what your thing is then start the work of finding it out, because your THING is out there waiting for you.
Everything you imagine is possible for you.
Don’t let your potential go to waste in the busyness of living.
There are so few years in your life.
Don’t Die with you music still in you
DO THE THING!
Like I did 5 years ago…honor that part of you that knows there is more…..because there is, there is so much more!