Category Archives: New Years Eve

New Year…Old Leaf?

I don’t need to tell you that it’s that time of the year……when we earnestly pledge and promise to make changes, big and small for the coming year. New Year’s resolutions in my mind aren’t necessarily a bad thing. This time of the year gets us reflecting on what the past year has been and what we would like to create for our future. I’m a big believer in that, in taking time to review and reset, to ask ourselves the question “Am I where I want to be? and to set goals for the year ahead.

For many this time of the year is about making a commitment to “turn over a new leaf” when it comes to things we want to change or believe we “should” change for our health and wellbeing. We propose to give up our “bad” habits, to eat healthier and to begin a new exercise regimen, to lose weight or to finally run that half marathon. Whatever you are proposing to change in the New year are you in fact turning over a new leaf or are you once again recycling and old one?

Often times we have the same resolutions on our lists year in and year out. So why don’t we achieve them? And why is it that we wait until the year is at an end to do this rather than at other times of the year? I have been pondering this as I review my own 2016 goals.

I am an active goal setter and work hard to achieve my goals through the year but like many of you I still have resolutions that don’t get achieved.

This year I have started my own business, graduated as a Business coach, traveled to a new country, left the security of a regular pay check. I have run a group coaching program (3 actually) and two mastermind circles. I have increased my followers both on my blog and on my facebook and instagram pages and as I write this today it will be my 30th blog post for 2016 (although my goal was 52!) but I havent lost 10kgs (I have actually gained weight!) and I haven’t ticked off the other health and well-being goals on my list.

When I reflect on why this is the case it becomes pretty clear to me that the things I have given most of my attention to are the things I have achieved the most success with. Although this is not exclusively true. At the beginning of 2016 I wrote down a list of 81 things I wanted to do in 2016 (I couldn’t quite get to 100) Without giving any time or attention to this list other than to review it once during the year I have actually completed 21 of them.

My best advice when it comes to resolutions and goals is that it’s never a bad time to set them. If you feel drawn to doing it at this time of the year then by all means write them down and make a start. but we can also turn over that new leaf at the start of a new month, a new week, or even a new day. In fact every minute holds within it an opportunity to make a change, start something new or to set a new goal.

My feeling is that we do a large chunk of our goal setting and resolving at this time of the year because we get a chance to pause. The space between christmas and the New year is when we are either on holiday or the pre-xmas work pressure has eased. We get some time to reflect, to connect and to feel what needs to change.

What if we took time out on a regular basis to do this? What if we gave ourselves space quarterly, monthly or weekly to reflect on where we are at and to re-focus on our goals? I suspect we would find motivation levels would be sustained far beyond the first few weeks of January and our resolutions would have a greater chance of surviving! So don’t let New Years be the only time in 2017 that you reflect on where you are at and what you want to create.

My resolution for 2017 is to create space every week to review my goals and to re-set and adjust them quarterly as the year unfolds.

“What you focus on grows, what you think about expands and what you dwell upon determines your destiny” Robin Sharma

Feel free to join me…or to share with me your resolutions for 2017 in the comments below

To download your free 2016 Biz review workbook Sign up here

For support setting you 2017 goals click here

 

Advertisements

2015’s Last Post…

Its pretty standard at this time of the year to reflect on the past 12 months and to begin to anticipate what lies ahead as we turn the page to a fresh New year. I’m sure many of you having been doing this over the last few days, some of you looking forward to the year being over, others madly setting goals for what 2016 will be.

As I have been formulating this blog post over the last few days I too have been reviewing my year and the gifts and challenges it delivered. I have felt called to review my writing and in particular a blog post I wrote just over a year ago  “No more cardboard moments”  This blog post was about what makes life memorable and how easy it can be to live on the surface of life, not really engaging with your experience. At the time I wrote it I felt a strong desire to be fully present, to soak up every second and to make sure my moments were memorable. I can certainly say the 2015 has delivered on this front. I have felt more connected, more alive and happier than ever before.

My personal theme for 2015 was “going deeper” I wanted a deeper connection to myself, to my work, to spirit, to the people in my life and to life itself and to be deeply present with what life delivered.

I have discovered a new level of enjoyment and satisfaction in my work. I have had time to notice those urges and ideas that flit through my brain on a regular basis. A new level of connection with what I do and what I desire has emerged.

Deepening into the present moment has bought the added joy of increasing and deepening my friendships and has drawn new relationships into my life. I have more people in my life that I can be completely real with than ever before. I have also experienced subtle shifts with complete strangers. More people on the street offering a good morning when I am out for my walk and after years of weekly airplane travel where I would put my head down and actively discourage communication from those around me, I have been treated to fascinating travel companions keen to share their story. Even the checkout operator at the supermarket has had a kind smile and a more genuine enquiry of my day.

All this makes me wonder about that way the world works. I have a quote written on my hallway mirror ” change the way you view things and the things you view will change” This has proven to be true in my life over and over. When we shift our perspective we are rewarded with greater understanding, a deeper experience of all that life has to offer but the outside appearance of our life is still exactly the same.

Instead of waiting for things to change, bemoaning that which isn’t there is a constant invitation to shift your experience, to weave a richer fabric from your everyday. 2015 has presented me with many opportunities to do just that.This year has delivered me some truly magic moments some of them in the simplest of circumstances.

I have also been challenged to step outside my comfort zone, to confront my fears full on. I have had to accept that I can and often do isolate myself. I actively lessen my ability to experience the life I desire because it scares me. It is easier for me to stay safely secluded in my own world than it is to venture out into the richer, deeper life I desire.  Going deeper asks us to be more real, to own our feelings and to ask for what we truly want. I have had to take steps forward, to be honest with myself and others and to confront the terror of having what I really want.

Desire is an interesting animal. While we are without the object of our desire we have it as our sole focus, it distracts us from “what is” with what “could be”. When we get what we want we no longer have that distraction and it can be very disarming to fully immerse yourself in enjoying what its like to have that thing, to be present with it. We can almost become so addicted to wanting that we prefer that experience over deepening into having what it is we have wanted for so long.

I can safely say there have been no “cardboard moments” in 2015. I have lived life deep and in full colour. I have found true rewards in taking the risk to go confidently in the direction of my dreams. I am filled with gratitude for what this year has delivered me…the pleasure, the pain, the joy, the fear, the love, the grief, the frustration, the peace and the contentment. As I turn my thoughts to 2016 I know I want more of the same.

I invite 2016 to deliver me more deep experiences and connections, more love, more growth, more conscious creation and more space, time and freedom to enjoy it!

Bring on 2016!

What gifts did 2015 bring you? what are you inviting from 2016? I’d love to read about it in the comments below

What are you most afraid of?

I often hear others describe their lives from the view of limitation, I have done this myself. We often perceive things to be far harder or more complex than they really are. Why do we do this?  It serves us to do so, it gives us a reason to not start that which we most want  or desire in our life, it protects us from attempting something we might not achieve and then protects us from the pain of failure.

Recently I have become more and more intrigued by the level of discomfort we will put ourselves through in order to protect ourselves from what we believe we cannot do, be or have. Our capacity to do, be and have is far greater than we routinely challenge ourselves to accept. We hear a lot about life not being a dress rehearsal and that we only have one shot but can you honestly say that you live by that creed? To do this would be to embrace change, and to challenge yourself daily in terms of your physical limits and the limits of your beliefs. It also asks us to embrace fear, to know that when we feel really afraid of making a change or taking a step towards our dreams or goals that we are on the right track. We are afraid of failure, of disappointment, that we will discover our limits are closer than we hope and dream they are.

Recently I have observed that my own fear is around not being able to do something perfectly…I like to get things right. In the A type, Perfectionist, goal seeking world that is the sales environment I work in, this has served me well. I am proud of what I have been able to achieve but I am coming to realise this fear mechanism that I have become so comfortable with, that has encouraged me to explore how to get things right, is limiting in me in other parts of my life. In a high performance sales environment getting it right is valued, encouraged and rewarded but how about in personal relationships…can we ever be a perfect friend, a perfect lover a perfect partner. Relationships, friendships and love are all about vulnerability, allowing someone to see our weaknesses, and trusting that they will accept us anyway. Relationships take work and practice and getting it right isn’t always the way it’s going to turn out. Sometimes we learn the most about ourselves from getting it wrong.

I have realised that if I apply the same limitations to my personal life that have been the making of success in my working life then the joy of connecting, being cared for, caring deeply for another becomes awkward, and good intentions miss the mark. I recognise that in its fullest extension the fear of not getting it perfect could prevent me from even attempting new relationships.

So as I feel the closing of another year today and acknowledge what I have achieved, what I have healed and what I have learned I also resolve to start afresh. To allow my fear to stand beside me as the new year unfolds, embracing it, allowing myself to be comfortable with the discomfort of it. Trusting that the process is teaching my brain something new, a new pathway is being created. A pathway with less limitation, more Joy and more love.

Bring on 2015!