“Resistance is futile”
A few years ago I ended up staying with a friend for some months. I slept in her spare room underneath a Star Wars poster which claimed “Resistance is Futile”. The irony of sleeping with this message emblazoned above my head didn’t reach me until some years later.
Recently I have been pondering the idea of resistance. Resistance is that feeling that you get when you know you need to take action on something but you just dont want to do it! We all feel it and experience it…sometimes we call it procrastination or just that can’t be arsed to get off the couch feeling.
Resistance is also acknowledged as part of our adaptation to change. When we are introduced to a new idea or way of being its natural for us to be initially suspicious or uncomfortable with the idea of doing things differently.
Resistance has visited me in my life a number of times recently I have begun to realize what a gift it is.
“What you resist persists”
Often it the things that we know in our hearts really matter that we resist the most. The things that stand between us and what it is we really want. Sometimes its the scary things, the things that challenge us. In my experience when we actually take a risk and do these things they are way less scary than we imagined.
A lot of the resistance I feel is around sharing the parts of myself that I keep hidden from view. the fragile parts that I fear others will reject or that wont be good enough. I have been sharing some of these things with you in this blog, but recently I have resisted writing it altogether. I realise that this is because I am moving from a place of sharing my experiences of loss to sharing who I really am and what I truly believe. I sit on the precipice of knowing that there is freedom in owning my truth but also the discomfort of exposing my inner most feelings.
I have felt drawn to write for a very long time. This feeling has persisted. I am ready to move through my resistance to this now. To embrace that part of me that needs to put in words what I experience. So what has changed? Everything and nothing! I am still the same person but life has shown me that time is too precious to miss the opportunity to do what really rings your bells.
The truth is writing brings me joy. Its my own little joybug! My ego has worked hard to contain this part of me and I acknowledge its intention to keep me safe but I really think its time to kick resistance to the curb and to step into writing as a part of who I am. To express what life means to me in the knowledge that some of you will love it and some of you will hate it and that that is actually ok.
It is my greatest hope that some of what I write will be of value and that it may one day help someone who reads it, and that in some way it will bring joy even if only my joy in sharing it.
So I embrace my resistance as the gift that it is and I choose to let go and resist no more.
What are you resisting?
In Search of the Joybug 