Tag Archives: inspiration

Hello, this is your growth calling…..

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves” Viktor Frankl

There is a part of me who has for 48 years (my whole life) been searching. I have lived with curiosity and a desire to know more. Maybe you have too….

I seek a deep experience of life, of love, of my own human-ness and I enjoy exploring my own nature. I look at the way I respond to the world and the results I get, to try to understand my relationships, my feelings and what they mean for me and those I interact with.

I have named this my “call to growth”

I am called to grow in every way possible and as much as I have the capacity to do so I answer that call. Those who know me often say that I am strong but I know that in actual fact I am no stronger than anyone else. The difference is this deep desire to understand, make peace with and to grow through life’s experiences. The good, the bad and the heart breakingly difficult. I am a deep thinker, a deep feeler and in more recent times have come to know myself as intuitive and empathic.

I know that I am not alone in this. I know that many of you share my need to know more and that some of you out there reading this will be seeing your self in my words. You are recognising the part of you who seeks more of yourself, the part that desires a deep connection in your most important relationships, in your work and with life itself.

I suspect that your journey and process is somewhat similar to my own

  • You have likely been through events and relationships that cause you to feel that in some way you were inherently lacking, unworthy and not good enough to do, be and have the things that you desire.
  • You sometimes still feel that lack of worth and it’s quite likely that it is holding you back from doing the things you want to do.
  • You give more than you receive. The way this occurs may look different on the outside but in the end it’s all the same. Some of us give outwardly, always doing things for others first, some of us give ourselves to our jobs, overworking and burning out. Others over give in relationships, putting our own needs aside for our partners. We can often do that to such an extent that we lose our sense of identity to the relationship.
  • You may also have an interest in all things spiritual and you seek new ways of understanding yourself and the world. You feel energy in places and in people and in experiences.
  • You probably cry at movies or find it hard to watch the news
  • You also have times where all you can do is sit on the couch no matter how hard you will yourself to do all those things you “should” be doing
  • You love people and places and variety just as much as you love silence and alone time and routine.

I am writing this blog today because I want to celebrate the beauty and diversity of all of you. All of the seekers out there who are just like me, or just a little like me but are looking, questioning, feeling and embracing what life puts in front of them.

I want you to know that I walk alongside you and I see your struggles, I see your beauty and your deep feeling heart. I know what it is to be in a crowded room but to feel utterly alone. You are not foreign to me or alien or strange. You fit right in and I celebrate each and every moment you are embracing the call to grow. I am cheering you on from the sidelines and knowing that even in your darkest places the light eventually shines.

What I have learnt from my own callings is

  • That the world is full of people just like you and me. Allow yourself to open up to that and you will find yourself drawing them to you
  • Your personal care is a priority. Recognise when you need to stop working, giving, engaging and let yourself fill up on alone time to process your experiences and reflect on your growth
  • There are things you can do that support your call, like meditation, writing, walking, creating, and being in nature. Find the things that work for you and make them a regular part of your routine.
  • You are worthy beyond measure, more valuable than you can comprehend and there is magic in your existence. Never forget that, no matter how hard it is.
  • You are always doing way better than you think you are!

My curiosity, desire for growth has already lead me to many great self discoveries, along with some magical experiences and some very special relationships and I know there will be more to come. I also know there will be more dark days and more internal struggles. I surrender to that now, knowing deep within that there will once again be days when the sun shines and the water sparkles.

I feel blessed to be who I am and to have in my experience the desire to grow, to expand, to challenge my own thinking, to know more, to be more. To me this is the essence of what life is all about. This is my search for meaning.

Do you have questions? Would you like a little more support as you navigate your growth? Did you know that I offer a few free 30min Intuitive insight sessions each month where we can talk about whats happening for you and unravel your experiences together. You can book your free spot here

 

 

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Feeling the call…….an invitation to action

I wrote today’s blog post on Sunday 23rd July, just over 30 days ago. Although at the time I wrote this post I did not publish it I did follow my own invitation to solitude. What has unfolded for me over the last 30 days has been an amazing illustration of the benefits of exactly what i wrote about in this post. I have greater clarity, I have followed my own guidance to refresh my branding and make small but important changes in my business. As a result I am happier, more engaged with my work and working and plying with a new sense of Joy and energy. I invite you to join me……………..

 

Lately I’ve been feeling the call. Soul Whispers, internal urges, that lingering sensation that it is time.

Being a widow with no children, I have a love /hate relationships with my alone-ness. As much as I crave company I also crave solitude. You would think that a person in my situation would have alone-time sorted but true solitude is not just about being the only person in the room.

It asks us to be present with whatever we are holding inside, good or bad.

For the past few weeks I have had house guests and i have allowed them to become my convenient excuse. My excuse to not meditate and to deny myself true moments of solitude.

I become aware again of my perfectionism….my need for the perfect set of circumstances to align before I set aside my Busy-ness (even when alone) and settle into some moments with myself.

What I find there in my solitude is a chance to fill up on myself, to feel the presence of my soul self and to reconnect with all that is within and around me.

It is in this place that i can draw from when I am stuck or confused or in need of some clarity. It is in this place that my intuition, desires and heart reside.

I ask myself why I avoid deep drinks from the well of solitude and my answer is a rising tangle of fear and excitement. I am afraid of the power of what lies within me, of the depth of my own presence and what it asks me to bring forward.

This age old oscillation of fear/intuition/power/darkness/light and ego is present within all of us and can manifest visibly in procrastination, resistance and putting everyone else before we give to ourselves.

This reluctance to truly own the power of our presence, keep us small, dims our light, dampens our creativity and stands in the way of our success.

Today I take a stand and say “No More” no more dulling our magnificence!

Join me in a commitment to the self and all that reveals

Join me in a conscious movement closer to yourself, your heart, your power.

Join me in action by taking steps on what is revealed

join me in walking in the face of fear and discomfort.

Join me in finding more joy, more clarity and inspiration in solitude.

Join me in the magic of rediscovering yourself!

21 Days of Solitude

Join me each day for the next 21 days as I carve out moments of solitude and share the experience on Instagram using #21daysofsolitude 

What Letting Go Reveals…..

Has your vision for you life and business become clouded?

Do you sometimes feel that you are getting in the way of your own success?

What would happen if you just let go? 

Todays blog is about the surprising benefits of letting go and the freedom it can bring you in your business and your life.

Letting go has been the dominant theme for me this year and as we hit the full moon earlier this month I found myself releasing more than I had ever imagined I was holding on to.

Early this year I made the decision to sell the home I had shared with my late husband and to find a new home for both myself and my business. My home sold quickly and I was forced to acknowledge that a huge amount of physical clearing needed to occur before I could actually move. Knowing this process would take some weeks to complete and with a strong desire to begin my new life free from the weight of possessions that didn’t belong to me, I gave myself permission to step back from my business and to continue to serve my existing clients but to let go of all of the demands of marketing. promoting and growing my business.

I focused on the process of lovingly going through my late husbands tools and equipment and items that he had collected over his 45 years of life and finding new homes and new people who appreciated them to pass them onto.

What I learnt from the process of letting go of these possessions was that clearing the clutter on a physical level will reveal a layer of mental clutter, internal belongings, beliefs and patterns that are also waiting to be cleared.

There was an invitation to let go on another level. To let go of everything that is holding you back from being who you are.

Tied up with these physical possessions was a letting go of where I had thought my life “should” be and who “should” be in it. In letting go of “shoulds” came an acceptance of what is.

I have come face to face with my perfectionism, the need for a set of perfect circumstances to arise before I can act.

I was able to see with crystal clarity the patterns that led me away from myself and from where I most want to be.

The root of procrastination and resistance rose up to met me, revealing all the ways in which I sabotage myself and hold myself back.

So why do we have all these internal scripts and processes that we hold on to?

Why do we let this internal junk get in the way of or goals, dreams and deepest desires?

Your stuff, the things that hold you back, the limits you place on yourself are a hardwired protection mechanism shaped by your early experiences. Your young self unable to make sense of the world around you developed a highly specialised system of checks and brakes to save you from the pain of loss, failure, rejection and to set you up for the best chance of fitting in and receiving love.

Call this your ego or your monkey mind, your bad habits, this hand brake to success exists in all of us.

However, just as I have recently experienced we are able to let go of what no longer serves us on both a physical and an emotional level.

To do this we must acknowledge deeply these patterns and make peace with them. Understand how they have served us and thank them for their gifts before the process of letting go is truly complete. For me this was true even though my process was an unexpected side effect of letting go of physical belongings.

What I am left with is lightness and a freshness. I am seeing with new eyes and a new way of being is revealed to me. I have clarity.

The feeling of being weighed down and the desire to feel free of self-imposed limits is not unique to me. I see this in my clients, my friends, my wider networks.

We all have within us the ability to achieve the life we dream of, so ask yourself the question………. What’s getting in the way? What do I need to let go of?

Get curious, become an explorer of your own internal landscape.

The mountain may seem high but the view from the top is incomparable.

Its time to just let go………

I’d love to hear your experiences of letting go, feel free to share in the comments below. If you feel like you’d like some more support with what you need to let go of you can book a free clarity call with me here or visit my website here

 

 

 

When you are in Alignment it is effortless

When you are in alignment it is effortless……….

I heard these words come out of my mouth this morning over coffee and like a message from the universe they stuck!

What I was commenting on was the resolution of a challenge another business woman had been dealing with. This situation grew out of a knowing that something wasn’t lining up with her values. The situation had escalated to the point of almost becoming catastrophic for her business until she said no to what was not in alignment for her. From the moment she refused to continue tolerating this values conflict everything changed. Her business recovered and is thriving beyond what she could have imagined possible.

When we are in alignment it is effortless……

When we are in alignment it becomes effortless….

When we are in alignment it feels effortless….

Let that sink in for a moment because its BIG

Hearing myself saying this asked me to consider all of the parts of my business that don’t feel effortless. I began to get curious about what feels like hard work for me and also to consider what drains my energy and on the flipside what fills me up and feels effortless in what I do.

I realised that I was allowing myself to be influenced by other Coaches with bigger more established businesses than my own. I was hearing the hype about this system or that model and was “shoulding” myself to do things someone else’s way. I had allowed myself to feel I had to change my approach to succeed and I was beginning to feel defeated by the thought that I had to hustle to get where I want to go.

Hustle is not effortless for me, hustle is not in my zone of genius or in alignment with my values.

The effortless parts of my business fall neatly within my zone of genius. Supporting people, teaching, coaching, leading others to clarity and alignment. When I allow myself to be me, to be authentic, to share my gifts,to speak my truth, to do what fills me up, that’s when I see results in my business that’s when it’s effortless

Wow Heart expanding moment!

Clarity is such a beautiful thing and I love that this level of clarity allows me to step away from anything and anyone that pulls me away from whats effortless. I don’t need to prescribe to any other way of doing this than my own

There are no more “shoulds” for me

From today my guiding principle in my business is “does this feel effortless to me”

 

Would you like support to uncover your effortless? I’d love to help, book a free clarity call here or visit my website www.paulamcfarlane.com

The gifts of 10 days Blogging

Today is the last day of the 10 day blogging challenge I have been participating in. As I reflect on the last 10 days its clear that this challenge gave me more than I had expected. It has increased the traffic through my blog, it has increased the number of people following my blog, it has increased traffic to my website and also engagement on my business Facebook page. All great benefits, however the greatest benefits are more personal.

Since I began this blog 3 years ago I have had a fairly consistent routine to my writing. It was a ritual for me. Initially I would write monthly and then it became weekly. For the last 10 days I have been here writing each day.

To participate in this challenge I have had to change my approach to writing in a number of ways.

I had to let go of feeling that I needed inspiration to strike before I could write, learning that sometimes inspiration occurs during the process.

I have had to get comfortable with posting on a topic I didn’t really want to write about and also with posting when I wasn’t sure if it was worth reading or that it was even any good. Learning to let go of the need for my writing to be perfect and that I am my harshest critic when it comes to what I write. Letting my voice be heard regardless of whether I judged it to be “good ” or not has allowed me to relax my writing style and also the pressure I feel “get it right”

I have let go of the need for the right environment and circumstances to be present before I could begin writing. It has challenged me to write in different environments and regardless of what else is occurring in my life.

It has asked me to re- examine my beliefs around what I was doing in my business and to really connect with what it is I want to create. I loved Day 2 and 3, connecting with my why and my perfect day and allowing myself to share that with the world.

It has asked me to do many of the things I ask my clients to do but forget to do for myself

It has helped me to share my story and express who I am.

This experience has taken me outside my writing comfort zone and that can only ever be good for my writing and those who read it!

I love that writing gives me a way of connecting with people and also to express what goes through my head on a daily basis.

I think a lot and I feel a lot and I have a strong desire to help people. Sharing my thoughts on this blog has helps me to feel that somehow somewhere I am reaching out and touching someone. That maybe my experience or perspective can be of benefit.

This challenge has allowed me to do that in a much freer more unstructured way and I know that that will lead me to write more, connect more, help more and feel more fulfilled in what I am doing.

And last but not least it gave me a chance to really consider why Freedom is my word for the year, what that really means to me and how I can feel it in my life each and every day.

I hope you have enjoyed the ride for the last 10 days. Gold stars if you have read them all! Rest assured this will not be the last you hear from me, in fact far from it.

If you would like support to connect with what you really want to create, to step outside your comfort zone and to feel more expressed in your work then I’d love to chat. Book a free Clarity call here or visit my website www.paulamcfarlane.com

This blog post is in response to Natalie’s 10 Day Freedom Plan Blog Challenge Day 10

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Working Holiday or Holiday working?

Imagine yourself in Portugal….Imagine yourself in Indonesia…..Imagine yourself in Spain… You are on holiday, seeing the sights, sipping the local wine/cocktails/fruit juice, enjoying the sunshine and relaxed pace. Sounds idyllic doesn’t it? So how do you have this and run your business too? How do you take your business on the road with you?

This is my intention…to create a business that is location independent. Why would I want to do that? A couple of reasons. I like the scenery to change and also I see myself wanting to continue to do what I love long into my retirement. I don’t want to have to choose to give up my job to travel. I don’t want to have to say no to adventure because I need to be somewhere or I don’t have leave owing.

The past few years I have traveled quite a bit and its during this time that I started my blog. Being away on holiday hasn’t stopped me from writing. In fact I  probably write more taking inspiration from the places I am visiting and the things I see around me. So how about working with clients? this is something I am yet to try. I am comfortable with skype and zoom and use these platforms to coach clients  but by far the majority of my clients are face to face. This is the way my business has evolved at this point. I don’t see this as a limiting factor in my business at this stage. I am pretty confident that if I needed to I could switch my clients over to the virtual world.

Travelling and working also opens up new possibilities for how my business could evolve. What experiences could I offer in the location I am traveling too? Is it an opportunity for me to run a workshop somewhere else in the world? Is it a chance to host a retreat? Something I have always wanted to do.

To work effectively while travelling will require a similar level of discipline as my current situation of working from home. Carving out time for various tasks each week to ensure that they are done would still need to be a priority. Looking at what works better when travelling is what I would explore. Does it feel good to spend a small focused amount of time each day working and then to have the rest of the day free or would I be better to schedule a loberg work session every 2 or 3 days. This I am yet to discover and explore.

I would like to publicly set then intention here on this blog to schedule a holiday in the next 12 months that also includes some work time. I invite the miracle of how this will unfold for me into my life and welcome it with open arms. You might want to pencil in a visit to this blog next September to see how it went or to hold be to account. I would like that!

One of the great gifts of my job as a Business Coach is that I get to support people to create a business that fits with their dream for their life. I get to see their business idea emerge, be nurtured into life and to take them where they want to go. I get to support others to get clear on what they want and whats getting in the way of that. I get to see the miracle of moving through a block unfold its potential in someone’s life and business. I feel blessed to have these experiences and also grateful that it inspires me to continue to breathe life into my own dreams to keep the fire burning within my own belly. What would I ever want a holiday from that !

If you would like to get clear on whats holding you back in your life and biz book a free clarity call here or visit my website www.paulamcfarlane.com

This blog post is in response to Natalie’s 10 Day Freedom Plan Blog Challenge Day 9

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Life is a daring adventure….

“Life is a daring adventure or nothing” one of my all time favourite quotes and it sums up for me what life is all about. If you aren’t trying new things or challenging yourself on a regular basis then  you arent growing or expanding and life becomes stale, predictable, boring even.

I get that adventure isn’t for everyone but you don’t have to be an adrenalin junkie to put a bit of adventure in your life. For me adventure is trying new things, visiting new places, new learning and moving to the flow of life,embracing change as it comes your way.

The last few years have seen me do a bit of solo adventuring. Travelling to parts of the world I have never visited and seeing things I have always dreamed of. I have embraced solo travel and also the joy of going on retreats with other like minded souls. I love the expansion I feel when I discover new places.

This year my adventure has been a lot about leaving a 10 year corporate career to step out on my own. Learning new technology and ways of working and marketing my business. Mastering new skills can be quite and adventure!

I have also traveled this year with my partner and with friends. Once again a new experience, a different adventure. The biggest benefit of new experiences regardless of how risky they are in the physical sense is that you learn to feel grateful for what you  have and also learn to adapt to new situations more quickly.

Todays adventure might seem really simple to most but for me it was another opportunity to change my view. To see the world differently, to see myself differently. Today I went to an open home to look at a house with some land. Seems simple doesn’t it but to see it that way is really only seeing the surface. Attending and open home implies an openness to moving, living in a different environment and essentially changing everything in your day to day experience from where you buy your coffee to route you drive to work.

I am not going to buy this house or even make and offer but it was and still is an adventure. A new adventure loaded with possibilities, new dreams and new magic!

I wonder where this adventure will take me 🙂

If you would like support to shake up your routine and fit more adventure into your day then click here to book a free clarity call with me or visit my website www.paulamcfarlane.com

This blog post is in response to Natalie’s 10 Day Freedom Plan Blog Challenge Day 8

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