Tag Archives: spirituality

When your soul is calling you…

It has struck me recently how ill-equipped we are as humans to resolve the struggle between our human nature and our soul nature. We live in a human world yet within us all resides a higher guiding power that is our soul.

For some of us it’s entirely satisfactory to live a human life without ever exploring the deeper soul self but for me and the majority of my coaching clients the call of the soul becomes, at some point, impossible to ignore.

To know your self at a soul level is truly a gift and its through the expression of who we are at this deepest of levels that creates a life lived deeply.  The path of soul exploration is not easy and I know many great minds have written, probably in a much greater detail and understanding of this part of our nature, than I will. However lately I have witnessed so many of my clients struggling with how to honor the soul after many years of an entirely human existence, I feel it important to share what I know of this journey. When the soul comes calling, the struggle between the ego, personality and the souls desires fall into conflict. The internal turmoil that ensues can feel relentless, emotional and inexplicably difficult.

My experience of my souls desire to express fully in my life spans more than 20 years and began as a fascination with all things “woo woo”. The logical, analytical, judgmental perfectionist that was my ego self fought hard to contain this curiosity within me. I felt ashamed of who I was and held for a time a huge fear that I was going to have to become a crystal ball reading gypsy to really fulfil my potential. In truth what has  unfolded is a desire to be everything that I am and to live my life at the deepest of levels. I crave connection to this “soul self” and meet her in my writing, my meditation and in the joyful and loving moments in my life.

My work has only been enhanced by the recognition of my Souls desire to express itself. Trusting this core part of who I am, is what allows me to be present for my clients, to hold space for them and to be a clear channel for what is needed to intuitively guide them back to themselves.

I feel blessed to work in this way, to feel my soul’s gentle presence in my life and to support and guide others who find themselves on this pathway.

This way of being, this type of growth is not taught in schools or tertiary institutions. Its life that guides us to this place within. I don’t know why the soul’s call, for some of us, is so strong, yet for others it doesn’t exist, but what I do know is that recognising what is happening can help to reduce the stress and impact on your life

So how do you recognise When your soul is calling you?

  • People, places, relationships and friendships that you once loved and relied on suddenly don’t feel right any more. You feel like a fish out of water. Sometimes it is described as a sense that you are watching your life occur around you but you dont feel connected to it. You might begin to choose to be alone rather than hanging out with your friends. Your social interests suddenly seem less interesting.
  • You feel the urge to change jobs or to move house. There is a desire to “find your Purpose” and to feel “at home” This creates within us a need to change where we are currently to something that feels more aligned even if we don’t know what that is.
  • You have a hard time controlling your emotions. You cry at inopportune moments, you feel overwhelmed with sadness and grief or get angry when you would normally remain calm, you experience rage at situations that normally wouldn’t bother you. Your nearest and dearest tell you tht you are “too sensitve”
  • You might begin to indulge in everything you know is not good for you. You numb the uncomfortable feelings inside with food or alcohol or drugs or sex. Or conversely you go hard out with healthy living, exploring radical changes in diet and exercise.
  • You feel like a failure and struggle to get anything off the ground in your business.
  • Your financial situation changes radically
  • You feel ike you have no control over what is changing in your life. You feel bewildered

The good news is, there is so much you can do to support yourself through this soul journey and you are not alone. My best advice is to get support from someone who understands, who has walked that path that you are on and who can help to guide you in the right direction.

It might also help to…

  • explore the new age section in your local library. Choose any books that capture your attention and read.
  • Buy a journal and start recording your experiences. This will go a long way towards helping you make sense of what is occurring. It may also be where you hear your souls voice the loudest. You can even invite your soul into a conversation with you by asking questions and writing what comes as an answer without censoring it.
  • Give yourself the gift of time….time away from the world to just be… time to decide what is right for you before you change jobs, cities and relationships.
  • Talk about your experiences and be open to those around you who will ‘get you’ the miracle of this experience is that you will find kindred spirits in the most unlikely of places
  • Practice being in your heart. consciously moving your awareness from your head to your heart. Allowing yourself to feel all that you are holding there. Let your heart lead you…check in with what your heart desires….
  • explore spiritual practices, forums and groups that appeal to you. meditation, yoga, crystals, different types of healing. Each one of us is different and finding out what makes your soul sing can be just the adventure that you need.

If you had told me 20 years ago that I would be writing this for you and working in the way that I do, I would not have believed you. I would have run as fast as I could in the opposite direction. But today I feel blessed to have heard the call of my soul and to have answered. I feel grateful for all the experiences I have had finding my way back to myself and I feel honored to be able to work in the way that I do and to share my souls voice with the world.

AND I know that sometime in the future you will too

Paula xx

Do you have questions? Would you like a little more support to connect with your soul self? Did you know that I offer a few free 30min Intuitive insight sessions each month where we can talk about whats happening for you and unravel your experiences together. You can book your free spot here

 

 

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Allowing 2018

Welcome to your New year!

Its been 12 months since we found ourselves at the beginning again but here we are….

I am conscious of how different this January feels for me to all of the January’s gone by. I have welcomed January with fervour in the past. I have loved that “day before the first day if school” feeling that new years have….that excitement of new possibilities just around the corner. I often rush at January with a big agenda of dreams and schemes to be birthed in the months ahead. But this year feels different….can you feel it too?

Don’t get me wrong January 2018 is very welcome after the mental and emotional demands of an enormous 2017. I have just as many possibilities for creation bubbling under the surface but this January feels gentler and softer in its unfolding.

January 2018 has me very much in a space of allowing. Allowing what is, rather than battling what isn’t. The era of hustle is gone. January 2018 is all heart after the heady mental energy of 2017.

So with a sigh of relief I relax into this gentle January and allow myself to dream and to breathe and  to let what wants to come forward arrive.

And when those echoes of 2017 come calling, asking me, pressuring me and should-ing me, I take a deep soul filling breath, pour a cup of tea and go out into my garden to watch mother nature allow herself to unfold.

Wishing you all a divinely gentle January

Paula xx

Did you know that I offer a few free 30min Intuitive insight sessions each month where we can talk about whats happening for you and unravel your experiences together. You can book your free spot here

 

Hello, this is your growth calling…..

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves” Viktor Frankl

There is a part of me who has for 48 years (my whole life) been searching. I have lived with curiosity and a desire to know more. Maybe you have too….

I seek a deep experience of life, of love, of my own human-ness and I enjoy exploring my own nature. I look at the way I respond to the world and the results I get, to try to understand my relationships, my feelings and what they mean for me and those I interact with.

I have named this my “call to growth”

I am called to grow in every way possible and as much as I have the capacity to do so I answer that call. Those who know me often say that I am strong but I know that in actual fact I am no stronger than anyone else. The difference is this deep desire to understand, make peace with and to grow through life’s experiences. The good, the bad and the heart breakingly difficult. I am a deep thinker, a deep feeler and in more recent times have come to know myself as intuitive and empathic.

I know that I am not alone in this. I know that many of you share my need to know more and that some of you out there reading this will be seeing your self in my words. You are recognising the part of you who seeks more of yourself, the part that desires a deep connection in your most important relationships, in your work and with life itself.

I suspect that your journey and process is somewhat similar to my own

  • You have likely been through events and relationships that cause you to feel that in some way you were inherently lacking, unworthy and not good enough to do, be and have the things that you desire.
  • You sometimes still feel that lack of worth and it’s quite likely that it is holding you back from doing the things you want to do.
  • You give more than you receive. The way this occurs may look different on the outside but in the end it’s all the same. Some of us give outwardly, always doing things for others first, some of us give ourselves to our jobs, overworking and burning out. Others over give in relationships, putting our own needs aside for our partners. We can often do that to such an extent that we lose our sense of identity to the relationship.
  • You may also have an interest in all things spiritual and you seek new ways of understanding yourself and the world. You feel energy in places and in people and in experiences.
  • You probably cry at movies or find it hard to watch the news
  • You also have times where all you can do is sit on the couch no matter how hard you will yourself to do all those things you “should” be doing
  • You love people and places and variety just as much as you love silence and alone time and routine.

I am writing this blog today because I want to celebrate the beauty and diversity of all of you. All of the seekers out there who are just like me, or just a little like me but are looking, questioning, feeling and embracing what life puts in front of them.

I want you to know that I walk alongside you and I see your struggles, I see your beauty and your deep feeling heart. I know what it is to be in a crowded room but to feel utterly alone. You are not foreign to me or alien or strange. You fit right in and I celebrate each and every moment you are embracing the call to grow. I am cheering you on from the sidelines and knowing that even in your darkest places the light eventually shines.

What I have learnt from my own callings is

  • That the world is full of people just like you and me. Allow yourself to open up to that and you will find yourself drawing them to you
  • Your personal care is a priority. Recognise when you need to stop working, giving, engaging and let yourself fill up on alone time to process your experiences and reflect on your growth
  • There are things you can do that support your call, like meditation, writing, walking, creating, and being in nature. Find the things that work for you and make them a regular part of your routine.
  • You are worthy beyond measure, more valuable than you can comprehend and there is magic in your existence. Never forget that, no matter how hard it is.
  • You are always doing way better than you think you are!

My curiosity, desire for growth has already lead me to many great self discoveries, along with some magical experiences and some very special relationships and I know there will be more to come. I also know there will be more dark days and more internal struggles. I surrender to that now, knowing deep within that there will once again be days when the sun shines and the water sparkles.

I feel blessed to be who I am and to have in my experience the desire to grow, to expand, to challenge my own thinking, to know more, to be more. To me this is the essence of what life is all about. This is my search for meaning.

Do you have questions? Would you like a little more support as you navigate your growth? Did you know that I offer a few free 30min Intuitive insight sessions each month where we can talk about whats happening for you and unravel your experiences together. You can book your free spot here

 

 

Where are you today?

How are you feeling? Whats happening in your life and in your business? How big is your week this week?

Do you even have time to contemplate answering these questions? Are you overwhelmed by how much needs completing or are you madly scrambling to find more clients/contracts/jobs to pay the bills?

Why do I ask……

We are now 8 weeks into 2017. We have reached that point where it seems both a long way from the centredness and relaxation of the summer break and equally as far from the next opportunity to take more than the weekend off (if you are even managing to do that) This is where we can lose ourselves to the momentum, the busyness,the rush and hustle.

This week I’d like to encourage your to draw breath, to create space regardless of how busy or not busy you are. Find a way to inject a gap into your week just for you. It can be as little and an hour or even 20 minutes a day or if you really want to amp things up gift yourself a day.

Step off the treadmill for a moment and gather your thoughts, let go of busyness, pressure and hurry. Connect with yourself and feel where you are at, feel the reason you are here doing this, feel the part of this that “is you” and not your business.

When we create regular gaps in our schedule to reconnect with ourselves and what we are creating it becomes easier to stay on track, we accomplish more and it is easier to find the energy for the doing.

We step into flow, we find satisfaction and contentment or we identify what is not flow and not satisfaction and it becomes easier to make the necessary adjustments, to self-correct, to feel re-inspired towards our goals, mission and purpose.

Whenever you are feeling tired, overwhelmed, too busy or not busy enough in your business its time to take a step back, to turn to yourself and ask the question “where am I in this?’ “where am I and what do I need?”

To be able to show up consistently and to create something you love in the long term – that sustains you financially, emotionally, spiritually, professionally and personally, staying connected to yourself is the key.

Dont wait for someone else to notice and to give it to you….

Dont wait until you are burnt out and just dont love it any more

Dont wait until its too late to change course and make the necessary adjustments

Take that time today, this week. Gift it to yourself, you deserve it. You are more worthy of your own time and attention than you can ever imagine.

I’d love to hear your experiences of giving yourself time in your business, feel free to share int he comments below. If you feel like you’d like some more support with this feel free to schedule a free clarity call with me here or visit my website here

Oh such a Perfect day!

Today’s Blogging challenge is to write about your perfect day. Imagine there are no limits. You can create a vision for your future that looks and feels and includes anything you want! You can design a working/living style that is exactly right for you, that makes you feel happy, connected and on purpose.

This exercise is not new to me. I have done it myself a number of times and its something I often ask my clients to do. Knowing what you want to create provides a roadmap for your business and the choices that you make. Designing an ideal life will also highlight for you what in your current life needs to change and evolve. From a spiritual perspective the law of attraction says that if we believe it we will see it. Our thoughts create our reality. Our subconscious mind is unable to discern reality from fiction so if you really connect to the images and feelings of what you want to create you draw towards yourself the perfect conditions and opportunities to make it happen.

Go Confidently in the direction of your dreams…..this has been a favourite quote of mine for a very long time. Most of us like the idea that we can create what we want in our lives but to do this we actually have to relax that parts of our self that tells us we cant have what we want. We come up against our conditioned limitations and beliefs such as “I don’t deserve it” or “you have to make the best of what you have” or “not everyone is destined for greatness” We fear our deepest inner most desires being laughed at or ridiculed or that we are arrogant to want to much for our lives. Sometimes we have felt so discouraged by our circumstances that we don’t even dare to dream. We have disconnected from our true desires.

When I ask my clients to write for me about their dream day some grab the opportunity with both hands and others resist it and need support to work through what holds them back from what they want.

Personally I am half and half. I love to dream about what I want to create. I get excited abut my vision for my future and I love to write it down and to create vision boards from what i have written. However to share my dreams in public for other people to view…that is where I meet my resistance.

What I know about goals is that if we share them even with just one other person we have a much higher chance of achieving them. So with that in mind I am going to move through my resistance today and share with you my Perfect Day.

My perfect day begins without an alarm. I wake up from a restful sleep with my partner. Together we go for a walk on the beach or in the hills and then enjoy breakfast together sharing our intentions for the day. We are blessed to be able to live where we choose which means we often split time between NZ and other tropical locations giving us a long summers and  a very relaxed lifestyle. Each day after breakfast I spend a couple of hours in my workspace. My workspace is an open studio in a garden setting with lots of light and stunning views. I will spend my time meeting with my admin team and planning the coming days/weeks. I might spend time creating workshops or programs or I might be working one on one with clients either face to face or virtually. Some days I will be travelling to deliver workshops and seminars. I love that I have created a working life that allows the scenery to change and for me to express myself while supporting others to experience deeps success in what they do. I love that I have created a prosperous business that supports me and a number of others and that allows me to give to community projects that are close to my heart.

Most days I will also have some quiet time to meditate, journal and work on my latest writing project be it blog or book.  I finish work early to meet up with friends or family or to swim or indulge in a massage or spa treatment.  At the end of the day I meet up with my partner to share what the day has bought us and to either go out for dinner or to spend time preparing a meal together. I feel completely fulfilled and satisfied at the end of every day. I love that I have freedom  and time for what is important  and to travel and learn new things. I enjoy spending time reading and indulging my creativity through writing and art. I feel blessed to be living the life of my dreams and grateful for all that I have, all that I am able to contribute and that I can do this by simply being myself!

If you have read this far I invite you to do some dreaming on your Perfect day. What is it that you want to create in your life? I also encourage you to notice if you resist doing this and what comes up for you when you think about it.Let me know if I can help. You will find me at www.paulamcfarlane.com

This blog post is in response to Natalie’s 10 Day Freedom Plan Blog Challenge Day 3

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Are You and Your Business Aligned?

The process of creating, growing and running a business may seem on the surface of it to be a fairly straightforward process. You have an idea, a service or a product you want to sell. You find a market or carve out a niche, you promote, network, pitch, advertise, build a website, order your business cards and hey presto you have customers and clients 🙂

It’s not rocket science you say….but is that all there is to it? If it is then why do some businesses succeed and other fail? Is it just good luck, good management, right products or right place?

 It is all of those things and it is also much, much more.

Your business also holds its own energetic imprint that is intrinsically linked to your own.

Your business has its own identity and is separate from you but it is of you and it is your energy, your vision, your values that underpin it and dictate the way it is perceived by the wider world.

Your vision, your mission, your clarity about what you want to create and how you want to create it, your values and how these line up with the message you are sending through your business and its culture, your sense of yourself and how that’s expressed through your business all contribute to the energy your business sends out to your potential customers and clients.

So how does this affect the success or your business?

The way your clients and customers respond to your message, whether they choose your service or that of your competitor is a reflection of the energy frequency that you and your business emit. The energetic signals sent out from your business are what manifests as a customer expressing that they had a gut feeling you were the right choice for them or even that when choosing between you and another provider of the same product or service they chose you because it felt right even though on paper the your competitor looked better or the same or was more or less expensive than you.

How can I use this information to grow my business?

When we are holding within ourselves any kind of energetic or emotional block it can feel like a dead weight in our business. We have all heard the expression “there’s no use flogging a dead horse” but is the horse really dead? Or is this a call for you to step a little deeper into owning who you are, to examine your own subtle energy shifts and patterns for what is out of alignment or what feels blocked. Is this an invitation to look at how your fear is affecting your choices both in your life and in your business? Taking a step back and allowing yourself to reflect and review your own internal position is crucial.

When something isn’t going right in your business, something isn’t going right in you.

This has certainly been the case for me…

I am an Aligned Feminine Business Coach, I work in the area of aligning, values and mission and purpose to create success in business. I work in a spiritual way; I encourage my clients to develop rituals in their business and to understand how their energy is reflected in what they create. I have had to work to understand and heal the part of me who was afraid to own what I do and who felt that she wanted to be seen as a more “legitimate” business coach. I had to understand what I was afraid of and to release myself from the judgement I held around the type of coaching I do and what part of me believed I “should” do. By failing to address these issues I was creating and inconsistent message in my business and sending out and inconsistent energy. This affected the way my business was perceived and the type of clients I attracted and also the level of satisfaction that I had in what I was doing.

So how do we address what doesn’t line up between ourselves and our business?

How do we breathe new life into that struggling horse and release what is blocked? The process of alignment or in fact any growth can be really tough but it also brings great rewards. It asks you to be very honest with yourself and the results you are getting. It asks you to be very real with yourself about what you are afraid of and where you are judging yourself or holding on to limiting beliefs. It asks you to look at what patterns you are creating in your life and in the life of your business. It also asks you to be very gentle and to offer yourself all the love, compassion and understanding that you need to fully engage with the process.

For me the process of realigning can take days, weeks and sometimes even months to truly resolve but I have found a few things that can help to accelerate the process.

  • Admit to yourself that something is off. The sooner you get real about it the faster you will find your way to the other side.
  • Seeking support for me is crucial: I am a coach that gets coached 🙂
  • Walking or any type of exercise: moving moves energy and helps to aid my clarity. I like walking the most as I can hear the messages that clarity brings that I might miss if I am doing something more vigorous
  • Connecting with spirit or any higher power that feels right for you: going within to connect with your own innate wisdom will offer you the insights you need to move forward. Meditating or using rituals that feel right for you.
  • Reading and listing to inspiration: books and podcasts that raise my vibe and help me to feel positive and help to keep me open to what might emerge.
  • Allowing myself the space to process. There is no point pushing through or holding on when it’s not working. Allow the space to process and get clear, to readjust to your new level of understanding and know that the process sends out subtle energy waves through your business that are already realigning your message.

When I shift in myself I shift in how I am expressed in the world through my business. This then leads to a knowing of what needs to be done on a practical level such as changes in structure or offerings within your business.

There is much more to your business than what you can learn from a book or business degree. The path to growth in your business is intrinsically linked to your path of knowing and understanding yourself. This is your business’s greatest gift to you. Its what will keep you in love with your business over time. Through your business you send out ripples to your world and all that come in contact with it. Your authentic message of what is alignment for you allows others to align within themselves. You may think that what you are offering in your business, your product or service is far removed from any type of spiritual growth but your desire to engage with your own process and the rewards that brings doesn’t just lift you own vibe and the vibe or your business it creates an energetic shift that reaches out into your wider community it is your subtle way of changing the world!

So I invite you right now in this moment to check in with yourself and with your business. What is feeling right for you and what is feeling  a little off? Are you getting the results you want or is their something you need to give your loving attention to? Are you and your business aligned?

Paula xx

I would love to support you to align with your business and clear your blocks to success. Email me to arrange a complimentary phone call to see if coaching is right for you pmcfarlane@clear.net.nz or visit www.paulamcfarlane.weebly.com

The Problem of Purpose

In my work as a Business Coach one of the key things my clients are looking for in their work is to feel a sense of purpose or to feel that they have found their purpose in life. I really understand this desire for purpose as I have felt it and searched for it too and it is precisely what lead me to what I do today.

Why Purpose?

Why do we feel this need to have a deeper level of meaning in what we do? For me the search for purpose arose out of loss in my life. Losing loved ones called me to ask the “what am I here for” question and garnered within me a desire to know that in my short time on this earth that I lived fully and happily and had a positive impact on others. Knowing loss has created within me a desire to live each day in meaningful way.

For others the motivation to find purpose comes out of experiences of feeling that there is more to life that the material things we are able to attain or achieve or conversely from a desire to achieve in life. It can also come from a desire for a greater sense of connection with others, with loved ones or community or the environment, from a sense of wanting to make a difference. The search for purpose can come from a desire to do something just for yourself after years of putting the needs of others first or doing what others wanted or approved of.

Regardless of what motivates us to find purpose that process of uncovering it can feel like looking for a needle in a haystack. It feels both illusive and that we “should” know what it is. We hear “you’ll know it when you find it” which can create a sense of “Why is it not happening for me?”. We can feel some how inadequate that we are unable to know the secret, that we haven’t had that “aha” moment when we meet our purpose head on.

From my experience it seems that there are a number of Myths about purpose that actually get in the way of us finding it. Today I’d like to bust a few of those myths!

(1) You are less of a person if you haven’t found your purpose! life is a journey, not a destination! so maybe you have yet to feel a sense of purpose, that doesn’t change the fact that you are you, you are unique and talented and beautiful. Instead of beating yourself up because you feel your not “there” yet use this time to celebrate where you are and who you are! Explore your desires, what you want your life to look like, and who you want to spend you time with. The better you know yourself and your wants and desires the closer you are to discovering purpose.

(2) Your Purpose is out there waiting for you to find it if you could just look in the right places! Your purpose is not separate from you, it will not necessarily be something that you “find” and suddenly discover is you. What if you are your purpose? Yes I know, I was a little challenged by that idea when I first heard it too! But what if your purpose is to express yourself fully and authentically in the world? What would that mean? How well do you really know yourself? Do you know your values, your strengths, your patterns? How much of what your know about yourself has been shaped by other people’s beliefs and behaviours rather than from your own deep desires or by what feels right for you? Uncovering the truth about who you really are will lead you to your purpose.

(3) Your Passion is your purpose! That actually may be the case but what if you don’t know what you are passionate about? or what if you are passionate about wine or French poodles or swimming in the ocean, how do these things become your purpose? Your purpose isn’t necessarily a thing that you do with your life. It can be the qualities that you express in your day-to-day interactions, it can be how others feel when they are with you rather than your life’s work or career. What qualities do you bring forward in life? Are you a giver who feels joy from giving to others or a doer who feels happiest when doing practical things. Do you grab life by the horns and feel inspired by adventure or are you more measured and considered, radiating a sense of calm to all those around you? Do you love to solve problems or to come up with new and resourceful way of doing things. Understanding the qualities that it feels good to express will lead you closer to a sense of purpose.

(4) I’ll know my purpose when I find it, I just have to keep looking! Finding your purpose wont necessarily happen in a light bulb moment, it might be more of a slow burn that creeps up on you when you least expect it. That’s why its important to take the time to get quiet, to let go of the search and to just be with yourself. Give yourself a moment to notice what feels good and what feels out of sync for you. One of the biggest clues to being on purpose is a sense of being in the “flow”, everything feels easy and light and leaves you buzzing. Notice what lights you up inside and what is occurring in these moments. Your purpose might be more subtle than you imagine, don’t rule anything out!

(5) Once I find my purpose everything will fall into place. Living your purpose is actually quite possibly the scariest thing you will ever do! It can feel raw, exposing and vulnerable. You will still face challenges even when what you are doing is absolutely your purpose. Stepping into your purpose will ask you to show up as who you really are. No filters, no matching what you think others want you to be, just being you. Your fears will not suddenly disappear because your purpose has arrived. Living your purpose will often ask you to show up and be true to yourself despite the fact that its scary and despite the fact that you feel afraid. But its worth it!

So have you found your purpose yet? If not you are not alone. You have my invitation to take the pressure off yourself to be “there” now. You have my invitation to explore, to taste test, to discover and uncover. Allow your purpose to gently find you in your exploration, in your noticing, in your discovering and understanding of yourself. Allow it to creep up on you from where your hidden talents lie and your desires and dreams meet and become your special magic. The special magic that is YOU

You are your purpose!

I would love to support you to discover your purpose! Email me to arrange a complimentary phone call to see if coaching is right for you pmcfarlane@clear.net.nz or visit www.paulamcfarlane.weebly.com