Tag Archives: Purpose

The Power of Letting go…..

For those of you who follow the “astrological” weather you will know that we have had quite a significant eclipse over the weekend. For me and many of you, this eclipse and the weeks leading up it has been all about letting go.

Letting go of patterns of behaviour that don’t serve you

Letting go of out dated ideas and ways of being

Letting go of self judgement

Letting go of controlling people and situations

Letting go of needing to know how it will all turn out.

Letting go of people, places and things that are no longer right for you

Letting go of defining yourself by your past

I’m sure if you are reading this then you will relate to at least one if not all of the above.

True change comes when we are really able to let go of what no longer serves us. To do this we must not only know and understand what it is that is holding us back but also what it is costing us to continue to think and act from this place.

We also have to get really comfortable with what life feels like without our old way of being, thinking and doing. Our limiting ideas, behaviours and beliefs can feel a lot like a small childs “blankie” there is comfort in the familiarity of what we know, even if we also know it’s not right for us.

Letting go can feel initially exposing. Like you are standing naked in front of a room full of people.  There is an opening between what we have let go and the new way of being that will replace it. This can feel scary but it is also your golden opportunity to embrace what it is you really want.

For me the letting go has been about releasing all of the ways Ihold myself back from life, love and creating what I want in my business.  In the opening between the letting go and what is next I have felt my heart expand with self compassion, self-love and self-care. I no longer feel the need to judge my results against those of other people or other people’s expectations.

The letting go has gifted me a new level of clarity that I hadn’t expected. I feel clearer about they ways in which I have limited myself. I feel less tangled in the web of my life and much more like I am guiding the ship.

I can see from this vantage point that my life to this point has been very much about love. Being loved, giving love, loving myself, supporting others to feel loved and to offer themselves love and compassion for their experience.

When I work with my clients I am guiding them back to their own hearts, supporting them to uncover what it is they hold deep inside. Allowing healing and lovingly witnessing that which needs to be healed.

I have heard said more than once that grief is the price of love and in my own life I know this to be true. However what this idea doesn’t offer is that grief is also the gift that opens you up to more love. Whenever we lose that which is important to us we have the opportunity to expand. To know that our heart has the capacity to not only heal but to also grow from the experience of loss. The truth is that loss never really leaves us, it remains in our hearts as a reminder of what we have healed and how much we have expanded our capacity to love.

In letting go we can experience this too. We can experience more love, more life and a greater sense of purpose.

Ultimately what I am trying to say here is don’t hold on too tightly to that which you need to let go. Dont let loss, fear or self judgement be the defining experiences in your life. Allow yourself to expand beyond that which has hurt you whether it is a physical experience or a self-limiting belief.

I promise that on the other side of letting go is more freedom and more love than you ever believed you can experience.

Let the power of letting go work its magic in your life.

Paula xx

Are you struggling to let go of what you know is holding you back? I offer a few free 30min Intuitive insight sessions each month where we can talk about whats happening for you and unravel your experiences together. You can book your free spot here

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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When your soul is calling you…

It has struck me recently how ill-equipped we are as humans to resolve the struggle between our human nature and our soul nature. We live in a human world yet within us all resides a higher guiding power that is our soul.

For some of us it’s entirely satisfactory to live a human life without ever exploring the deeper soul self but for me and the majority of my coaching clients the call of the soul becomes, at some point, impossible to ignore.

To know your self at a soul level is truly a gift and its through the expression of who we are at this deepest of levels that creates a life lived deeply.  The path of soul exploration is not easy and I know many great minds have written, probably in a much greater detail and understanding of this part of our nature, than I will. However lately I have witnessed so many of my clients struggling with how to honor the soul after many years of an entirely human existence, I feel it important to share what I know of this journey. When the soul comes calling, the struggle between the ego, personality and the souls desires fall into conflict. The internal turmoil that ensues can feel relentless, emotional and inexplicably difficult.

My experience of my souls desire to express fully in my life spans more than 20 years and began as a fascination with all things “woo woo”. The logical, analytical, judgmental perfectionist that was my ego self fought hard to contain this curiosity within me. I felt ashamed of who I was and held for a time a huge fear that I was going to have to become a crystal ball reading gypsy to really fulfil my potential. In truth what has  unfolded is a desire to be everything that I am and to live my life at the deepest of levels. I crave connection to this “soul self” and meet her in my writing, my meditation and in the joyful and loving moments in my life.

My work has only been enhanced by the recognition of my Souls desire to express itself. Trusting this core part of who I am, is what allows me to be present for my clients, to hold space for them and to be a clear channel for what is needed to intuitively guide them back to themselves.

I feel blessed to work in this way, to feel my soul’s gentle presence in my life and to support and guide others who find themselves on this pathway.

This way of being, this type of growth is not taught in schools or tertiary institutions. Its life that guides us to this place within. I don’t know why the soul’s call, for some of us, is so strong, yet for others it doesn’t exist, but what I do know is that recognising what is happening can help to reduce the stress and impact on your life

So how do you recognise When your soul is calling you?

  • People, places, relationships and friendships that you once loved and relied on suddenly don’t feel right any more. You feel like a fish out of water. Sometimes it is described as a sense that you are watching your life occur around you but you dont feel connected to it. You might begin to choose to be alone rather than hanging out with your friends. Your social interests suddenly seem less interesting.
  • You feel the urge to change jobs or to move house. There is a desire to “find your Purpose” and to feel “at home” This creates within us a need to change where we are currently to something that feels more aligned even if we don’t know what that is.
  • You have a hard time controlling your emotions. You cry at inopportune moments, you feel overwhelmed with sadness and grief or get angry when you would normally remain calm, you experience rage at situations that normally wouldn’t bother you. Your nearest and dearest tell you tht you are “too sensitve”
  • You might begin to indulge in everything you know is not good for you. You numb the uncomfortable feelings inside with food or alcohol or drugs or sex. Or conversely you go hard out with healthy living, exploring radical changes in diet and exercise.
  • You feel like a failure and struggle to get anything off the ground in your business.
  • Your financial situation changes radically
  • You feel ike you have no control over what is changing in your life. You feel bewildered

The good news is, there is so much you can do to support yourself through this soul journey and you are not alone. My best advice is to get support from someone who understands, who has walked that path that you are on and who can help to guide you in the right direction.

It might also help to…

  • explore the new age section in your local library. Choose any books that capture your attention and read.
  • Buy a journal and start recording your experiences. This will go a long way towards helping you make sense of what is occurring. It may also be where you hear your souls voice the loudest. You can even invite your soul into a conversation with you by asking questions and writing what comes as an answer without censoring it.
  • Give yourself the gift of time….time away from the world to just be… time to decide what is right for you before you change jobs, cities and relationships.
  • Talk about your experiences and be open to those around you who will ‘get you’ the miracle of this experience is that you will find kindred spirits in the most unlikely of places
  • Practice being in your heart. consciously moving your awareness from your head to your heart. Allowing yourself to feel all that you are holding there. Let your heart lead you…check in with what your heart desires….
  • explore spiritual practices, forums and groups that appeal to you. meditation, yoga, crystals, different types of healing. Each one of us is different and finding out what makes your soul sing can be just the adventure that you need.

If you had told me 20 years ago that I would be writing this for you and working in the way that I do, I would not have believed you. I would have run as fast as I could in the opposite direction. But today I feel blessed to have heard the call of my soul and to have answered. I feel grateful for all the experiences I have had finding my way back to myself and I feel honored to be able to work in the way that I do and to share my souls voice with the world.

AND I know that sometime in the future you will too

Paula xx

Do you have questions? Would you like a little more support to connect with your soul self? Did you know that I offer a few free 30min Intuitive insight sessions each month where we can talk about whats happening for you and unravel your experiences together. You can book your free spot here

 

 

Beware the Ides of March…

Breakfast Blog#2 I wrote this blog post over a Small fry breakfast at The Batch Cafe in Invercargill. 

Many A dream is won or lost by what occurs in the month of March!

March is the month to dig deep on your plans and dreams for 2018. The last couple of weeks has signalled the end of the golden weather here in New Zealand and no doubt the first bus of spring are appearing in the Northern hemisphere.  Spring and Autumn provide us with the perfect seasons for getting things done.

I am currently working on a project that I want to bring to life in my biz this year and this week I have been reminded of how hard it is at the beginning of a project to create the momentum it will take to see it ignite into a life of its own. The same applies to any dream or goal we have for ourselves in our personal lives. We are captivated by the idea initially, we feel it in our hearts and minds. We can almost touch and taste it, it feels very present with us. However when it comes to taking the necessary steps to make it a reality it can be soooo much harder to keep the wheels spinning and the excitement flowing. SOmetimes that’s when the wheels fall off and what we planned in January already feels like a distant memory come MArch.

It’s not too late though….together we can dust off those January dreams and start taking the steps to make sure you can harvest come the end of the year!

What first?

(1) Make a plan ~ write down all of the steps you need to take to make this thing happen. This is where I am at with my current project. Initially you will find it hard to think of things and to break it into small enough steps but just start writing….what do you need? $$, support, info….add to it daily as new pieces of the puzzle come to you.

(2) Make a date ~ book the steps in to your diary, carving out pockets of time when you can commit to working on them. Try to schedule these spots regularly through out your week initially as coming back to your project frequently will help feed its energy and create the momentum required to keep working on it

(3) What to do when you get stuck or go off the boil ~ firstly plan for this because it will happen! Share your idea/plan with a trusted friend…just talking it through will help you fall in love with it all over again. Create yourself a vision board and/ or do your own intuitive oracle card reading or journalling on your project now so you have these to reflect back on when the going gets tough. Coming back to the journalling I had done on my biz idea was my safety net this week when I was feeling frustrated and ready to give up.

(4) Ask for help ~ maybe you are stuck because part of the project is just outside your current skill set or experience. Who can you ask for help here? V.A? Coach?, Mentor?, Lawyer? Accountant? IT wiz? Get the support you need to make your dream take flight.

For me goals, dreams and visions for the future are what makes life less ordinary but it is actually taking the steps to make our dreams a reality that is Deep Living!

You have the capacity to do, be and have far more that you could ever imagine! Soooo dust off those New Year plans and let March be the month you take action.

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams, live the life you’ve imagined” Henry David Thoreau

From my heart to yours

Paula xx

If you live in Christchurch keep and eye out for my upcoming Vision board workshop. To get workshop dates via email sign up here Did you know that I offer a few free 30min sessions each month where we can talk about your dreams and goals and make a plan to bring them to life. You can book your free spot here 

Letting your Heart Lead…

Breakfast Blog#1 Today I begin a new series of blog posts, “Breakfast Blogs” One of my intentions for 2018 is to “live like I am on holiday all year” in exploring what that means to for me, visiting new cafes, starting my day slow and creating the space to write, come at the top of the list. Hence the breakfast blog is born. Each week (or as often as life allows) I will visit a new cafe, enjoy a late start and share with you whats on my mind and in my heart. Today’s breakfast blog was created at Bunsen in Christchurch and I had the very delicious Bunsen Bene on hash!

Over the first few weeks of 2018 the topic of goals has been high on the agenda both personally and with my clients. Its this time each year that we take stock, review and look forward to what to achieve and create in our lives. So what makes a really solid goal?

If you google goals you will find that at the top of the list comes the SMART goal and most of you will have heard of the concept of making your goals SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time bound) My personal feeling is that while this is a useful tool for formulating how you will word your goals for the purpose of writing them down, it doesn’t really lead you to create goals that excite you. To me, if we really want to set a goal that comes to fruition we need to feel it in our soul #soulgoals

Over the last couple of years I have observed in myself and in my clients a natural resistance to this idea. This is because we are conditioned to believe our goals “should” be lofty in the career, business, financial or academic sense. But unless we are really connected to what we want to create in these areas it can be really hard to harness the momentum required to get there, especially if we are not feeling it.

Even career, financial, business or academic goals need to be felt in the soul. In short whatever your goal it needs to make your heart sing.

So what if the thing you desire the most is to find a loving partner to share your life with? or to experience a deeper connection with the mate you already have? or to get to know the truth of who you are? or to create a beautiful living environment or to learn how to grow your own food? Are these goals any less important than that traditional career and financial goals? I would encourage you to consider the idea that the most important goal is the one you can feel in your heart regardless of what part of your life it relates to.

When we work towards our deepest desires we feel good, we feel connected and on purpose, motivated and part of the very fabric of life. We feel alive!

For some of you the choice to honour your deepest desires will feel so foreign it will be hard to find a place to start. That was certainly the case for me a few years ago. It takes courage to explore your inner terrain, it feels vulnerable. Especially if whats inside varies wildly from what those you love, want or expect from you.

My advice, start small, give yourself a little taste of what it feels like to honour your soul and keep asking the question “what is it that I really want right now” in every aspect of your life. Give yourself permission to discover what sets your soul on fire. Get curious about what might be revealed to you.

The real benefits of letting your heart lead is that you will experience more joy, more love and more connection in every aspect of your life. When you are soul filled and soul happy your ability to show up, perform and achieve, skyrockets.

When you give yourself what you really want, you lay a solid foundation for amplifying success in every part of your life including your career, business, and finances! Ironically by focusing on goals that fill your soul you will experience a greater level of success in the areas you think you “should” be striving for.

So in 2018, plan to do, be and have more of what makes your heart sing and let your heart lead for a while….You might just be surprised where it takes you.

From my heart to yours

Paula xx

Feeling the call…….an invitation to action

I wrote today’s blog post on Sunday 23rd July, just over 30 days ago. Although at the time I wrote this post I did not publish it I did follow my own invitation to solitude. What has unfolded for me over the last 30 days has been an amazing illustration of the benefits of exactly what i wrote about in this post. I have greater clarity, I have followed my own guidance to refresh my branding and make small but important changes in my business. As a result I am happier, more engaged with my work and working and plying with a new sense of Joy and energy. I invite you to join me……………..

 

Lately I’ve been feeling the call. Soul Whispers, internal urges, that lingering sensation that it is time.

Being a widow with no children, I have a love /hate relationships with my alone-ness. As much as I crave company I also crave solitude. You would think that a person in my situation would have alone-time sorted but true solitude is not just about being the only person in the room.

It asks us to be present with whatever we are holding inside, good or bad.

For the past few weeks I have had house guests and i have allowed them to become my convenient excuse. My excuse to not meditate and to deny myself true moments of solitude.

I become aware again of my perfectionism….my need for the perfect set of circumstances to align before I set aside my Busy-ness (even when alone) and settle into some moments with myself.

What I find there in my solitude is a chance to fill up on myself, to feel the presence of my soul self and to reconnect with all that is within and around me.

It is in this place that i can draw from when I am stuck or confused or in need of some clarity. It is in this place that my intuition, desires and heart reside.

I ask myself why I avoid deep drinks from the well of solitude and my answer is a rising tangle of fear and excitement. I am afraid of the power of what lies within me, of the depth of my own presence and what it asks me to bring forward.

This age old oscillation of fear/intuition/power/darkness/light and ego is present within all of us and can manifest visibly in procrastination, resistance and putting everyone else before we give to ourselves.

This reluctance to truly own the power of our presence, keep us small, dims our light, dampens our creativity and stands in the way of our success.

Today I take a stand and say “No More” no more dulling our magnificence!

Join me in a commitment to the self and all that reveals

Join me in a conscious movement closer to yourself, your heart, your power.

Join me in action by taking steps on what is revealed

join me in walking in the face of fear and discomfort.

Join me in finding more joy, more clarity and inspiration in solitude.

Join me in the magic of rediscovering yourself!

21 Days of Solitude

Join me each day for the next 21 days as I carve out moments of solitude and share the experience on Instagram using #21daysofsolitude 

Saying it as it is….

Have you ever felt like a fraud or that you don’t measure up?

Today I’m calling “bullshit” Who’s with me?

This week I ran my first live webinar. I loved it and I know that those who participated received value from it. I wrote the content for the webinar “10 Soul Strategies to Kick Procrastination” in November 2016.  So why did I procrastinate for nearly 8 months to bring this content to my tribe?

If I’m really honest, over the last few months I have felt myself a fraud, that I didn’t measure up. I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my gut, a hopelessness, a uselessness. I was struck down by comparisonitis and crippled by the thought that I had to do this the way I see others do it in social media.

I felt invisible in such a noisy social media world and a little bit sickened by the empty promises of “learn how to generate 6 figures in 5 months” hype. I saw authenticity being pedaled as the latest “must have” in the most inauthentic ways.

What I fell victim to and I know I am not alone in this was allowing social media to influence my own measure of value and success. Quick Fix business schemes are marketed in a way the hyper creates an artificial sense of what success is.

The reality is that the majority of small businesses take a minimum of 2 to 3 years to really hit their stride.

So I called “bullshit” on the social media hype that I was buying into…

Dont follow me to be followed back!

Dont sell me your magic formula that you still haven’t proven to yourself works yet

Dont sell me your Uber successful launch strategy that you are trying out for the first time on me, that was sold to you by someone else who got it from someone else!

SHOW ME WHO YOU ARE

Show me your soft underbelly, your journey, your darkness, your failures

Show me all the things you don’t want me to see, show me your soul, your integrity, your values

My biggest takeaway from the last few months is that I am comfortable building my business in the same way I like to cook food…Slowly, I am savouring the journey.

And that all the aspirational marketing hype drew me in for a reason. It speaks to the part of me who has success in her soul, who knows her time is coming and is preparing for the shoes that currently feel too big for her to fill.

This is my invitation to be who I am, to do it my way and to grow my business in a way that feeds me, and is in alignment with my values. To stand in my own integrity and be my own version of authentic.

And I invite you to do the same and I just know the world will love you exactly as you are!

Have you felt affected by all the social media hype too? I’d love to hear about it, feel free to share in the comments below. If you feel like you’d like to connect I’d love to invite you for a  a free clarity call with me here or visit my website here

 

Undo the overwhelm!

How often do you feel overwhelmed in your business or life in general?

Over the last few months from my own experience and from hearing stories of overwhelm from many of my clients I have come to realise that overwhelm is a very normal experience and it is possible to break it down and work your way through it. The biggest downside of staying in overwhelm is that it sucks the joy and meaning out of life and that can leave you questioning the very thing you believed to be your purpose. Being on purpose does not mean that you will never experience overwhelm.

In today’s blog I want to share the 3 major ways that overwhelm can keep us stuck and get in the way of what we want to achieve.

Feeling overwhelmed is really, really, common whether we are business owners or not. If I look back at the last 12 months (my business is 11months old) I would say that I felt overwhelm weekly and sometimes daily! When I get overwhelmed I suffer from what I call “deer in the headlights syndrome” I freeze. I can neither go forward nor back. The very thought of dissecting the overwhelm, overwhelms me!

Instead I polish up my procrastination skills…I watch daytime TV, I make snacks when I’m not hungry, I check the snail mail and the email and I hang out for hours on social media. All of these things fail in every way to alleviate overwhelm and in fact often serve to intensify it.

So how do we manage our feelings of overwhelm in our business and in our personal lives?The first step to dealing with any difficult experience is to gently allow yourself to feel it, acknowledge it and accept it. It’s time to stop avoiding the overwhelm!

In my experience the source of your overwhelm will likely be :

(1)time

(2)knowledge or

(3) the stretch.

If we can work out which of these 3 are at the source then we are more than halfway to resolving it.

(1) The most common source of overwhelm is time…and not enough of it! The first step in defusing the time problem is to have a really good look at where your time is going and what time you actually have available. Identify your time drains and look at how you can eliminate these. Are there ways in which you can re-order your routine to free up an extra half an hour a day? Can you shuffle your schedule to give you some bigger chunks of time to work with?

Once you have established your time limits then look at all of the things you need to complete. Make a list…yes I know that making a list in itself can feel overwhelming but believe me you will feel a lot better once you do it. Look at each of the items on your list and ask yourself how essential they are for you to complete. Put all the non-negotiables into your schedule first.

It is likely that the simple act of making a list has reduced your overwhelm but if not you can trust me that once you start to tick off some of the items on your list you will be able to breathe again. This is also a good time to re- evaluate the standards you are setting yourself…are you expecting and unrealistic level of perfection that results in things never being completed? Make your new Mantra “done is better than perfect” and make a start.

(2) The second source of overwhelm is knowledge. This is where we feel overwhelmed because we have reached our outer limits of knowledge on a particular subject or aspect of our business. Once again it’s important to be gentle with yourself and to be accepting that there will always be things that you need to learn.

For me starting out in a new business after 10 years in the corporate world I had to admit that my marketing skills from my previous businesses was completely outdated. Social media was my new learning curve and boy was that overwhelming! The great thing is that new knowledge is so readily available now. There is always someone who knows what you don’t so find a coach or a course or a mentor who can help you to get on track to gaining the skills you need.

(3) The third reason we feel overwhelm is when we are in the stretch. The stretch is that place where you are putting yourself out there, owning your genius and testing your new skills and abilities. It might be a new program you want to offer or a new way of working or a new product or service. It may even be a new way of communicating your needs in your relationship or a new aspect of yourself you are learning to share and embrace.

Personally I find the overwhelm associated with the stretch the most challenging. Recently I have been leaning into the stretch in my coaching business and owning my true nature as a business coach. I am acknowledging that what I do does not fit within a traditional model but is soul based. My clients have been quick to accept my new moniker of soul based business coach as it aligns with how they have experienced what I do, but owning this dimension of my work more publically has felt overwhelming because of the stretch.

When overwhelm is in the stretch it’s important to know that it will feel uncomfortable initially as you grow into this aspect of yourself or your work but the rewards are enormously satisfying. If you are feeling overwhelmed by the stretch the my best advice is to go slowly, dip your toes in and test the water and feel the expansion as you do. Nurture and celebrate your small steps as you would a child who is learning a new skill.

 It is my hope that some of my suggestions will help you to relax about your feelings of overwhelm and to let go of the battle you have with yourself. When we relax about what is occurring it allows us to drop our resistance and then the way forward begins to appear. Don’t be surprised if your desire to procrastinate is strong here its normal to feel a level of resistance to your growth.  After all overwhelms best friend is procrastination and that is another blog entirely that I look forward to sharing with you soon.

Paula xx