Category Archives: Creativity

The Kenny Rogers Principle

Yesterday I was preparing a session for my women’s business group coaching program and I was exploring our tendency to judge our personality traits, strengths and weaknesses and default behaviours as either good or bad. We can spend a lot of time berating ourselves for rushing in to quickly or for always procrastinating. We compare our creativity or our ability to get stuff done with someone elses and 9 times out of 10 measure ourselves as being not good enough. But this is not necessarily the case, even our most challenging qualities that gets us in to trouble the most can be superb strengths if we play our cards right.

You’ve got to know when to hold em and when to fold em!

In the context of my coaching work we were diving into business creation. My passion is supporting others to create businesses that they fall in love with. Businesses that are both sustaining from a financial perspective and also on a spiritual and emotional level. To create work that fills you up, gives you a sense of connection, allows you to be completely yourself and is deeply personally satisfying, is living your purpose.

This type of business requires really intentional creation. In the initial “seed” stage it asks us to be very connected to our feminine energy, to use our qualities of creativity, imagination, vision, to be receptive and open to what emerges. This is how we create from the heart and birth a business that is aligned with our values and purpose.

However we need our masculine energy and traits if this seed idea is ever going to grow into a flourishing business. Once we have that seed beginning to shoot its time for action, for doing for rational and logical thinking and to make things happen.

Whether we are male or female we all have masculine and feminine traits within us and will naturally act from our strongest traits. My personal style in my working life has always been more on the masculine spectrum of striving to achieve, ticking off goals and targets and getting things done. I have had to learn to balance this with creativity, love, imagination and vision to find work that was able to meet my deep need within for something that felt more soul filling for me.

Which brings me to the Kenny Rogers principle. Just like in his song The Gambler we need to know when to hold em and know when to fold em. The key is to know when to work from your feminine aspects and when to work from your masculine aspects.

To do this we can ask the question “What phase of my business am I in? Do I need to create, generate new ideas, nurture or germinate a seed of something new? Or is it time for action, goal setting and making things happen?” This way all parts of our personality are valued and accepted, we have a deeper connection with ourselves and our work.  We also get the best use out of our strengths and the opportunity to use and develop forgotten parts of ourselves which are often the parts that need to be included for the work to be soul satisfying on a long term basis and allows us to feel connected to our purpose.

This way we always hold the best cards!

Which cards are you playing today?

For more info on my group coaching prgrams and 1 on 1 coaching check out my facebook page http://www.facebook.com/Paulamcfarlanecoach

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Art is my gateway….

This week I had the pleasure of attending a 2.5 hour mixed media workshop. It was the first time in about 9 years I have allowed myself the time to make art. In the last few weeks as my new life is unfolding I have made a few new discoveries and the mixed media workshop gifted me with another “art is my gateway”

My strongest instinct in my quest for what’s next has been to allow my what next to grow and emerge from within me at its own pace and in its own way. In the past I have built myself a couple of successful businesses. I built them from a place of determination, action, driving forward and pushing through barriers. I built them from my masculine energy and reflecting on this has shown me that I learnt an awful lot in the process.

I learnt that I can create anything if I set my mind to it. I can, through my own determination and striving, make it happen. However I have also learnt that what I build from this place isn’t always what I want. It doesn’t make me happy. It makes me successful and exhausted. It takes a lot of energy to build it up and even more to keep it in the air. In a lot of ways this is why it has taken me 10 years in the corporate world to feel that I am once again ready to be self employed.

In the time between I have come to know, trust and understand myself in a deeper way. It has allowed space for me to connect with my feminine energy, my inner nurturer, the part of me that is soft, gentle, fragile. The place within me where love, beauty and grace reside. This to me is key to creating my what next.

My deepest desire for my what next is to allow both my inner feminine and masculine energy equal parts in its creation. I want to create for myself a work with purpose, that is sustainable, that feeds me both financially and spiritually. To do this my whole self needs to come to the party.

I know that I have to be patient and nurture the bud that is growing inside me. It requires me to trust that I will know the time to take action and drive forward when it arrives. This is a new experience for me but it feels good, really good, inviting.

In allowing this newly developing part of me to take centre stage this week I have been exploring the things that feel good and that nurture my spirit. Walking, yoga, meditation, reading, writing, knitting (that one was a surprise) listening to music and most importantly making art.

Quite unexpectedly I have discovered that for me art is a gateway. It connects me deeply to my inner feminine. It feels open and expansive and inspiration is right there in that moment. It is a similar feeling to the one I get when I write but softer.

When I step out of my masculine energy of doing and allow myself the freedom the create through writing or art I move into a place of allowing a more full expression of myself. I am out of my head and in my heart. My creativity is unleashed and I am able to bring forward new ideas and inspiration.

My creativity allows me to open and I know that being in this space is where I will find my what next emerging from.

Art is my gateway……

Are you a doer/ driver like me? How often to you allow your creativity to be in charge? I invite you  to give it a try…..make art, write, dance, make music, connect with your feminine aspects and share with me what you discover below…..

Paula x